Recovery (Sequel to Been You)

Chapter 59: Rekindle With Me

ELYSANDRA'S POV:

I'm laying in bed with Justin, holding onto him for dear life with my eyes shut. He probably thinks I'm asleep. I breathe in deeply, and my suspicions are confirmed. "You're high?" I say, more than ask, my eyes still shut. He's quiet for a moment.

"Yes."

"Why?" I ask again, this time not willing to take a bullshit answer. He sighs.

"I didn't know you were gonna be coming over. Otherwise, I wouldn't have smoked."

"Why?" I ask again, this time my voice breaks.

"It numbs the pain of being away from you," he mumbles. At this, my eyes fly open and I sit up.

"Where is it?" I ask. He furrows his eyebrows at me. "Cmon, you don't think I have pain that I'd like to numb? C'mon, Justin, let's go get high," I press. He pinches the bridge of his nose.

"Ely, no," he groans.

"Why not? I'm hurting. It's okay for me to hurt, but not you? You love getting high so much, why can't we do it together?" I press, standing up to search his dresser for it.

"Because, I know you hate it," he answers, annoyed.

"Then why do you keep doing it?" I press, tears welling in my eyes. "If you want me back, why do you keep doing shit you know I hate?" I ask. "Unless, you don't really want me..." I rationalize, tears falling down my face. At this, he gets up from the bed, walks over to me, and takes me into his arms.

"Shh, shh, don't ever say that. Of course, I want you. I'll always want you. I'm sorry. I know I'm fucking up. I just... I don't know what to do. I'm so lost. I need you and I'm hurting and I don't know what to freaking do about it," he says, his voice breaking.

"It's okay, Justin... I... I didn't understand, but... I just thought that you wouldn't change if I just came back to you, but... maybe I was wrong... maybe it'd be better if we work on this together? I mean... earlier was so good. It wasn't perfect, but it was better than any day that we were apart."

"Please, El, I promise: if you give me another chance, I swear, I'll be the best version of myself. I'll treat you so well, you won't regret it. I love you so much, please, Ely?" He begs, leading me back to the bed. We both sit on the edge, our legs intertwined.

"Okay, Justin. I'm trusting you, okay?" I say, my voice shaking. He grabs either side of my face, planting a deep kiss on my lips. It's so heady that it knocks me on my back. It feels so good that I try my best to enjoy it, but the smokey taste of his tongue ruins it for me. I pull away from him, lying back on the bed. He frowns, but accepts this. "Where is it?" I ask, still frustrated that I couldn't find his stash. I thought I knew him well enough...

"I don't smoke in here," he reveals, making me squint at him curiously. "It smells like you in here. I don't wanna lose that. I smoke in the shed outside."

"It's so cold out there," I say, cuddling into him. He smiles, pulling me closer.

"Then, I guess that means you must smell really good," he jokes.

"And you smell awful," I laugh.

"Sorry, baby. Do you want me to shower?" He offers.

"No, it's fine," I say, not wanting to be alone. I close my eyes peacefully, enjoying his presence. I'm almost asleep when my phone buzzes in my pocket. I ignore it. All I need is right here in my arms.

"Is that him?" Justin asks nervously. I look up at him confusedly.

"Who?" I ask.

"The guy. From the party. I've... I've seen you out with him, wearing his clothes and holding his hand. I just... is it him?" Justin asks with pain in his voice.

"Jaden?" I laugh. "Babe, he and I are just friends, I promise." He looks down at me doubtfully. "We never... I never... baby, it's always been you. I could never," I say seriously. He still doesn't look convinced.

"Okay," he accepts, his voice wavering. I place a soft kiss on his lips, but the frown remains. I sit up.

"Cmon, I need a drink."