Insecure

The mean girl

Most Girls - Hailee Steinfeld

Most people hate school, I'm the exact opposite. I just hate the assholes I go to school with. Emily and I arrive five minutes before our first period and I instantly hate not having any classes with her this year. I guess it should be expected, all of my classes are advanced whereas Emily is more gifted physically being the volleyball captain of  the varsity squad. 

She begged me to try out and all I got was a bruised ass.

I'm just not suited for sports. I'm too short, too thick and too uncoordinated. Emily would correct me but she's blind and perfect. She's blessed with being tall, thin AND having boobs whereas I'm just a short blob.

"Look, it's Emily and her wifey." A shrill voice sounds from behind us and I know exactly who it belongs to. 

Chloe Evans.

Ever since the accident she's made my school days horrific. Making fun of my age, my weight......

My choice of ex-boyfriend.

It's not my fault, he pursued me. I had no clue he was the soccer coach until after we were involved. He was all I had after the accident.

Then he left me.

"My name isn't a dick so keep it out of your fucking mouth." Emily snaps and I'm reminded why I love her so much.

"You wouldn't know what a dick even was if it slapped you in the face, but Sara on the other hand. She knows all about it, don't you Sarbear?" Chloe sneers using Emily's pet name against me and making me cringe. "There's a new hot English teacher, try not to be too much of a slut and cost another good man his job ok?"

"You're just jealous cause you have the body of an eleven year old boy Chloe." Emily taunts and Chloe marches up to her.

"I will destroy you bitch, don't fuck with me." She screeches, I check my ears to make sure they aren't bleeding from a ruptured eardrum as Chloe stomps off followed by her clique of bimbettes.

"179 more days." Emily mutters as we turn and walk towards our first classes.

I manage to escape the first four periods virtually unscathed, during lunch Emily and I always walk off campus to a deli nearby. 

"What do you want Sara?" She asks as she looks for the guy that she has a crush on, he's the entire reason I can no longer eat cold cuts.

"Just get me a salad, I'm not very hungry." I mutter.

"Fine, only cause I got you to drink a mocha and eat that bagel earlier." She says huffing before ordering.

Suddenly I feel ice cold liquid splash against my legs. "Oh my God, I'm so sorry." A man with a soft voice apologizes, when I turn around my mouth goes dry. His white button up shirt is now soaking wet showing every single ripple of his build. My eyes quickly glance up to his curly light brown hair and hazel eyes looking down on me. "Are you ok?" He asks.

"I'm fine." I whisper as I look his face over, he has kind eyes and a great smile. He can't be older then 26 or 27.

"I've better go get cleaned up then." He says nodding to me before walking away.

"Holy fuck, he was totally checking you out." Emily chortles.

"Whatever." I scoff and head to our table.

"Rylan isn't here today." Emily pouts as she sits down and unwraps her sandwich.

"You mean the guy that you're basically married to but doesn't even know you exist?" I tease her before digging into my salad.

"Oh he'll know I exist when my lips are wrapped around his co-"

"EMILY!!!" I scold and she laughs.

"How do you even eat that shit without dressing? Are you part rabbit?" She asks before taking a big bite of her chicken salad sandwich.

Fuck that looks good.

"Salad dressing is fattening, I have enough of that." I mumble.

"God dammit Sara, I wish you saw yourself how everyone else sees you. Yea your body changed after the accident but if you dressed it well you would be the hottest chick at school." Emily says huffing and I shrug.

I don't think anyone could change my mind about how I look to myself, Emily is the only one who cares enough to even try. 

"Can you promise me something?" She asks chewing her lip nervously.

"I can try." I reply shrugging.

"Next time Michael lays a hand on you, please let me come and get you. You know you are more then welcome to stay with my mom and I." She assures and I nod.

But I know I won't.

"What classes do you have next?" She asks.

"I have my T.A period and then study hall. Miss Green asked for me to T.A for her replacement." I explain and Emily nods.

"I have have a volleyball meeting after school so you can come hang out and I'll bring you home." Emily informs me and I nod. I hate feeling like a burden to her, I can't drive. Well I mean I can, I know how but I physically can't. The minute I get behind the steering wheel I have a panic attack. 

Memories come flooding back, their screams, their cries. The light pouring into the car and the instant cloud of death taking over.

"Sara? Babe are you ok?" Emily asks concerned as I snap back to reality. 

"Yea, I'm fine." I assure her.

Liar.

"Come on, we should head back to campus." She says as she reaches for my half eaten salad and clears the table.

Emily jabbers on about a back to school party some new kid is having, I'm pretty sure I agreed to go with her but I can't really tell with how fast she's talking. I was never one for parties, I had gone to a few college parties with my ex but the experiences were not so great.

Once I reach my classroom Emily bids farewell, I take a deep breath and walk into the mostly empty classroom. The teacher has his back to me, he's wearing a light blue printed button on shirt that pairs well with his sandy brown hair.

"Excuse me? I'm Sara Andrews, your assistant for this period." I inform him shakily. He turns towards me and his eyes widen, I gasp as I look into his familiar hazel eyes.

It's him.