Insecure

I loved him when I left him

Havana - Camila Cabello

Harry immediately called me but I ignored it before blocking his number, I know I'll have to deal with him at school so he can just talk to me then. For now I just want to curl up with Roxy and go to sleep. Roxy began to bark and there was a noise outside my window, I knew that I had locked it so I just quieted her and went back to sleep.

This next morning I woke up looking like hell, I took a long shower and straightened my hair before applying a big more make up then usual. I wasn't doing it for anyone else, I was doing it for myself. After pulling on my skirt, shirt and sweater I decided on wearing some wedge booties instead of my regular flat boots. I packed my gym bag really quickly before taking Roxy outside to go potty. 

The ride to school went by quickly, Emily said she had to meet with a teacher so I just kept to myself, during lunch I went home to let Roxy like usual before returning back to school.

"How are you doing today Miss Andrews?" Mr. Sterling asks with a genuine smile.

"I'm doing alright, how about you Mr. Sterling?" I ask returning the smile.

"Sara?" A voice calls from behind me, I turn to see Nathan scratching his neck. "Can I talk to you for a second?" He asks, the bell hadn't rang yet so Mr. Sterling just shrugged and I nod at Nathan before following him out to the hall. "Look, I'm really sorry how things went and I would really like a chance to possibly redeem myself." Nathan pleads sheepishly and I smile softly at him. "Since you and Harry aren't together do you want to go to Liam's party with me Friday? It's an 80s themed karaoke party I guess, I promised him I would do and I thought maybe-" 

"I'll go Nathan." I assure him with a smile, what better way to tell Harry that he can't have his cake and eat it too. My cake is off limits to his lying ass. Even if he isn't there, the guys will see me with Nathan and tell him. "Emily is will probably be there with Liam." I shrug and he nods.

"Can I text you later? We should get back in class before Mr. Sterling flips." He suggests and I give him a soft smile before nodding. 

Mr. Sterling had me sit at his desk and plug everyone's grades into a data form while he gives a lecture on Jack London, I got done halfway through so I just sat back and watched him talk to the class. I had never noticed how passionate he was when he taught, it was impressive. I couldn't help to think that maybe I allowed Harry too much influence over how I thought of him and also Nathan, yes what Nathan did was bad but I also had bias judgement since I was involved with Harry.

"Mr. Sterling, could I stay and help you?" I ask not ready to face Harry yet. 

"Therapy going that badly?" He asks and I sigh.

"Something like that." I mutter and he chuckles. 

"Well I was actually going to head over to the gym to set up for my class. Did you want to come with me?" He asks glancing around nervously, that's kind of adorable.

"Yea, I brought my gym bag with me. I was planning on signing up for your class." 

"Why don't you run out and grab it, we can ride over together and I'll bring you back to your car after?" He offers.

What do I do? Do I say yes? I mean, what's the worse that will happen? Not like I really have anything to lose.

"That sounds good, I'll be right back." I say grabbing my keys out of my backpack, he nods at me and I sling it over my shoulder before walking out of his classroom. My car was a quick jog away in the student parking lot, once I reach it I toss my bag in the back before grabbing my gym bag and striding quickly back to his classroom. "Mr. Sterling?" I ask once inside, I shut the door behind me and look around the room. "Mr Sterling? Ian?" I call out but no one answers.

Furrowing my brows I walk towards his supply closet and open the door. "Mr. Ster- oh fuck." I swear under my breath, Mr. Sterling looks up at me with wide eyes. Holy fucking shit. He was in the middle of changing, his shirt was off and he was working on tugging down his pants when I walked in. 

But God damn was he hot.

My lips part as I look up his body. "I'm sorry." I whisper and he smirks.

"It's fine Sara, just wait outside for me. I mean, unless you want to stay and watch." He says with a lop sided grin as he pulls on an Under Armour fitness shirt.

"Uh, yes I'll just wait out here." I reply before shutting the door, to distract myself I slipped off my shoes  and tugged up my compression leggings under my skirt before sliding it down. I always wear a tank top under my sweater so I pull that off as well and slip on one of my Nike zip ups before putting on my socks and shoes. 

"Oh good, you're dressed already." Mr. Sterling says as he comes out of the supply closet now wearing some track pants and trainer but my mind can't forget what he looks like underneath. 

"Yea." I answer simply as I fold my uniform and set it inside my bag.

"That color looks good on you." He says motioning to my blue zip up and I smile then frown remembering Harry said the same thing. 

"Thanks." I reply quietly.

"Hey, you don't need to be awkward hun. It's not like you saw me naked or anything." He assures me.

Why do I want to though?

"Excuse me?" He asks furrowing his brows.

Shit shit shit, I said that out loud.

"You're right Mr. Sterling."

"Ian Sara, please." He says touching my arm softly causing goosebumps to erupt. 

"Ian." I whisper and he smiles. 

"Come along, I'm parking in the back of the school." He says before leading me out to the opposite side of where I was parked.

"Sara!" A voice shouts out behind us as we near the parking lot, just when I thought I was home free.

"Someone is calling you." Ian says and I sigh.

"I don't care." I shrug as we near an older, restored pickup truck. He opens the passenger door and helps me in before rounding it then gets in himself.

"Was that the ex or the therapist?" He asks.

"Both."