Secretly In Pain

The Fate I Choose

1 year later

"Ahhhhhaaa" I woke up to cold water being splashed all over me. I looked up to see him fuming in rage. Shit, I think I slept in. I could feel the fear creep into my soul. I looked down as per according to his rules. Rule#2 ALWAYS SUBMIT TO ME! He yanked me up by my hair and slapped me across my face. I felt the room spin and the tears threatening to fall. No I will not give him the satisfaction. He gripped my chin and screamed in to my face. " YOU FUCKING BITCH, YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO WAKE UP AN HOUR AGO."
I could believe it how could he be so heartless. He beat me till I fainted last night and is now screaming at me for sleeping in. I didn't reply. "I TOLD YOU YESTERDAY TO SET MY CLOTHES OUT AS I HAD TO GO SEE MAIRA TODAY. I HONESTLY HATE MY PARENTS FOR GETTING ME MARRIED TO YOU!! I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE HAPPY WITH MAIRA.THE GIRL I LOVE. UGH THERES NO POINT TALKING TO YOU. ANYWAY LISTEN HERE YOU LITTLE SLUT, MY PARENTS ARE COMING THIS EVENING. I WANT THE ENTIRE HOUSE CLEAN AND MAKE SURE EVERYTHING IS PERFECT. IF YOU SAY A WORD ABOUT HOW I TREAT YOU TO MY PARENTS I PROMISE YOU,I WILL MAKE SURE YOU NEVER SEE DAYLIGHT AGAIN" With that he pushed me to the floor and slammed the door shut leaving me all alone to be in pain. To hear my heart break into pieces. I can't believe I loved a man like him. Now all i have for him is hatred. The past 6 months have been like this. Him beating me up and me waiting for him to leave so I could cry. I slowly got up and went to the bathroom, to take a quick shower. I looked at myself in the mirror. I hated what I saw. There was a reflection of broken girl. With no light in her eyes. Like she was dead. The bruises he gave me all over my body. All I wanted was love, but that was something impossible in my life. I got into the shower and rubbed till I was red. The bruises wouldn't go matter how hard I tired. I felt the hot tears roll down my face. I was meant to be a ugly,worthless piece of shit. I got out and put on my clothes and got to work. After all to him I was just a slave. Before his marriage all  I wanted was him. To be with him. Have him hold me. Now all I want is to be dead. Away from him. Somewhere impossible for him to hurt him. Or for anyone to hate me. All I want is for the pain to be gone, but me and you know the only thing permanent in my fucking life is pain. JUST PAIN!!! I fell to the floor screaming in agony, although my screams were only for me as I was alone. Like always. Just me and my eternal pain. HE MADE SURE NOBODY OR NOTHING WAS FUCKING HERE FOR ME!!!! AFTER ALL HE IS A CRUEL HEARTLESS BEAST. HE IS THE GREAT FUCKING RANVEER THAT I LOVED AND IT BREAKS MY HEART TO KNOW THAT NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES I TELL MYSELF I HATE HIM..........I STILL FUCKING LOVE HIM SO MUCH!!!! I truly wish I didn't. My sobs could be heard throughout the house. If only I didn't agree to this marriage. If only I could go back in time, but no I couldn't. I hate to accept it but this is my fucking fate. The fate I choose for myself!