The free will ( eng)

16. Jens

On Friday I go to the tango again and on Saturday I go to the salsa and meet Jens. We have a danced a lot the past years and have a chemistry when we dance. We often talk a little while we dance. We both live east of the city close to the sea. I'm staying in the stay house because the room is rented in my shop. He offers to drive me home.

- Thank you! I got my car at the bus station. If you could drop me there? I asked and when the evening comes to an end we walk to his car and he drives me. We talk a lot about everything for half an hour and have a really nice chat.

The rest of the week I keep working on the cabin and relax with some exercising and dancing on the porch in front of the window as a mirror. I text Olof on Facebook and ask him how he's been? He says he's fine but doesn't say much more. On Thursday I text again and ask if he is going to the salsa on Friday? He answers that he made other plans and I get a little disappointed and sad. I kind of assumed that we should see each other? I probably should take some time to see Jackie or one of my old friends I hold dear that doesn't dance. The problem is I have so little spare time, and the one I got I want to spend on the cabin, until the roof is done, and what is left for dancing and exercising. I imagine I will have time to see them later.

On Saturday I meet Jens again. He is a really good dancer. I nearly loose my breath in salsa trying to tripple spin and be at his other side in a jif constantly for five minutes.. salsa songs are long.. and his Bachata is very sensual. I can feel the vibes between us and see the look in his eyes. He offers to drop me off again. In the car there is a tension between us and the conversation wasn't as easy.

- Thanks' for the ride! Let me know if you want to practice dance private some day? Or perhaps a coffee?

- I will! He says with a smile.

On Monday I go out to the cabin with my coffee and sandwich to go. After a few hours I check my phone and there is a text from Jens. Would I like to have a coffee and come and practice? I call him instantly.

- Hi, it's Anna! I saw your text. I'd love to come over !

- I sent it hours ago, he sad a bit grumpy.

- Ooh, I'm sorry. I was in the cabin and didn't check my phone, I said disappointed.

- I'm working this afternoon, but if you come now we can practice a little while?

- Sure! I'm leaving right away! Just need to change my fancy pants, I answered relieved and jumped out of my jeans. I put on my sexy linen shorts that almost didn't stay on my hips and a revealing top. I was there in fifteen minutes. The area was an old neighborhood for holiday houses but now people lived there. Jens was also renovating and building like me. He gave me a tour around his charming house and garden. The flowers were amazing. It takes ten years to create a nice garden. We sat down at his bar table in the modern kitchen.

- What would you like to dance? He asked after we finished our coffee.

- Everything. I said and he laughed. He put on his stereo and to my surprise I heard one of my favorites from Ricky Martin, He had the same album I played in my car all the time. It felt good we liked the same music.

- Just be careful with my shoulder. No dipping.

- Okay, he said and took me into his arms. We danced several dances and it was real good practice. When we did the Bachata I could see the desire in his eyes and feel it in every cell of my body when he led me. I wasn't unaffected either.

- Perhaps you would like a massage if your shoulder is bad? I'm a trained nurse and also educated on that.

- Sounds really tempting, I said and wondered how that could end?

- You can lie down here on my bed, he said and showed me to his bedroom. I sat down on the bed and took of my top with hesitation. I lay down on my stomach and he put my legs between his and sat down on them in his shorts. I could fell his skin. He unbuttoned my bra and poured the oil slowly on my back. His warm soft hands started to rub me in a gentle, caressing fashion. He had definitely had a lot of practice of this. It was amazingly good. Every muscle in my body had longed for this for a long time and relaxed. Something else woke up too. When my thoughts were running a little too wild he stopped.

- Anna, no matter how hard I want to stay I have to get to work now, he said and cleared his throat. I tried to collect myself and put my hands on my breasts so the bra wouldn't fall off. He helped me and I put on my top again.

- I understand, I answered and didn't know what else to say. He looked like he didn't knew either and rather had med staying.

- Thank you. This was nice, I said and gave him a hug and went to the car. On my way home I thought about what he said. He had a girlfriend but never saw her. He was unhappy and thought about ending it. If I seduced him it would not be fair to his girlfriend. They should break up first. Did I want to be the reason for that? What if I didn't fall in lover later? I had asked my self that question many times before and stepped down every time. I thought it was wrong and did not want to break any ones relationship. I guess it could be a catch 22 as well?

I work hard with the cabin all week and then I meet him again at the dance school. We dance Bachata and he looks deeply into my eyes. His body and movements is expressing everything else but that professional distance that "professional" dancers usually keep. I'm embarrassed. What if people saw us?

The next time I see him we cannot restrain ourselves anymore. Even though it's the biggest salsa party of the year, we leave at midnight and walk to my shop close by.

- Would you like something to drink? I ask and turn on Michael Bublé.

- Just some water please.

I let my skirt fall down and he pulls of my top. We walk to the sofa and the rest of the clothes come off. He knows exactly what he's doing without hesitation yet open for what I want. We don't say anything, but it's not necessary. I'm CLEAR (?) and he doesn't have to guess. We click on more than just dancing and he's obviously pleased and flattered. Afterwards we still don't say anything. I have no idea what to say and he seems to be waiting for me saying something more than that he obviously knew what he was doing.

- You are very welcome to stay the night, if you want? I say when I have come to my senses again. My computer is playing me and Mrs. jones.. I'm feeling very gulity... 

Before he answers my phone rings. Apparently my crazy tenant at home is playing loud music. At two AM. My other tenant threatens to call the police. I call him quickly and ask him to turn it down. What was with him?

- I'm sorry. I have to get up early in the morning for work. So I need to get home, Jens says and put on his clothes and leave. Typical. Afterwards I sleep better than I have for a very long time. My body had really missed this, and that total feeling of harmony that follows.