Some day later I stop on my way home at a lovely coffee shop by the sea near my house. It's a lovely day in the beginning of the summer. I'm sitting on the porch watching the sea glittering in the sun when my phone suddenly gives a sound. I check it. It's the chat on Facebook saying " Don't you recognize me?" I don't understand anything and try to remember who this person is?
- It's me, Jack! Somebody says who is suddenly standing in front of me on the porch. I stare at him and try to remember.
- I was behind you in line for the coffee just now? We met at Sitting Bull and I came to your shop? He says and probably wonders why I look like a question mark. Slowly it hits me. He had tracked me down after meeting me at the restaurant. I had not encouraged further contact by ignoring his chat attempts on Facebook. He had more or less added him self when he was in my shop.
- Hi! I didn't recognize you! What are you doing here? I asked politely
- I live near by and come here to have a coffee once and a while, he answers.
- Well, join me if you want? I say and he sits down with his New York Times and starts talking. He is really chatty and the memory from Sitting Bull comes back. We talk about how it is running a business and how lovely it is living in the archipelago
- On a sunny day like this I always dreamt about lying on a sun bed next to the pool at the country club with an umbrella drink next to me, I say dreamy.
- Why not? He says with a smile .
- Are you serious? I say laughing and wonder if I really can go with him? I don't even know him? Would I give him false expectations?
- Sure! I have my scooter outside, we can leave instantly. I have an extra helmet.
- Hmm. Why not? You only live once? I say and my crazy side has taken over. We went out to the parking lot and he showed me his scooter and gave me a helmet. I sat down behind him and off we went. It was a lovely feeling to feel nature so close. I went with Rafael on his motorbike once. It had been an adventure driving in high speed leaning towards the asphalt, feeling death very close. This was more relaxed, even though I liked the speed and being close to death too. It made you feel alive. At the country club we took a walk and went down to the sea first. I couldn't resist doing some yoga on the port.
- Isn't it lovely? I said.
- Mm, it's really nice.
- I love doing yoga by the sea. It sort of goes together that you become one with the elements of nature when you come in contact with your soul?
- I have to learn!
- You should! It's easy! Want to go up to the pool?
- Sure! He said and we went up and sat down in the sun by the pool.
- I wish I had my swim pants with me, Jack said.
- Indeed. I haven't taken a swim for many years. Every time I do I get pneumonia so I have avoided it.
- That's too bad. I took a swim at "my beach" this morning.
- I really miss that. I used to be a seal before. No water was too cold and the day started with a swim and ended with a swim in the moonshine.
After a while we went up to the restaurant and sat down at a table with a sea view and ordered food and wine. Jack started telling me about his life as one of the founders of a big company that he had left. I told him about my experiences of running businesses since I was sixteen, and the mistakes I had done along the years with working around the clock, which I pretty much did all over again with this company.
- It's hard not to work 24/7 when you have to and somehow you loose control and self awareness.
- Mmm I agree.
- I work from the moment I wake up to the moment I go to bed with few breaks. When I dance or exercise I see that as a luxury or a necessity to keep my health, not as something I've earned. I try to make up for the hours "I've lost" by working harder or longer the next day. Same with exercise, If I miss hours with dancing or other "activities" I do it twice the day after, about then hours a week, upon dancing the same amount.
- Sounds insane?
- I think it's like being anorectic? Being a workaholic and exercise addict. Although I probably got that too. I know every calorie by heart and used to count them and my exercise in a diary. I mostly eat fish and vegetables without fat and carbs nowadays, I said and realized I was in trouble and needed to control my self, just as with the wine and pills. The waitress came with our food that tasted excellent. We ate and talked,
- This became a really nice day Jack! I hadn't expected this.
- Me neither¨.
- You know, the only thing missing now is to ride to the other pearls around here?
- Why not? I'm free! Jack answered.
- Yes, why not? I laughed and we took off to a big sailing port near by. It was a Mecca for sailors. The roads were small and curvy. We passed lovely summerhouses with apple tree gardens. After an hour we arrived after a few stops along the way. We went down o the port to look at the boats, They were impressive. Some were for sale and cost a fortune.
- Wow! One should have on of those! Jack says.
- Mm, I love boats. Always have. I used to dream about buying a house boat and sail around the world being free as a bird. My boss at the magazine Elle did that. They were supposed to be gone for a year and came back after five. She also threw her husbands very expensive binoculars in the ocean when he was sarcastic. I liked her a lot.
- Sounds like a plan, Jack said and raised his eye brows.
- It doesn't have to be luxurious. It s sufficient just being charming. I never needed that, even if it's nice.
The restaurant on the port is filled with people but we manage to get a table, We talk further about our plans and dreams and everything seems hopeful with the sun in your face, a beautiful environment and magnificent sea view. Afterwards he gives me a ride home and we stop by my "home port" . We go to the end sit down at the bench watching the sea and the sun setting in it in the horizon.
- Look at that! It's a halo around the sun! I say and point to the sky.
- You see? It's like a rainbow around it? 'That's beautiful! he says before giving me a ride home.
- Thank you for a perfect day, Jack!
- The pleasure was all mine! I very much enjoyed having your arms around me, he says flirting. You are welcome to visit me any time and I will show you the pearls where I live.
In the evening I was so relaxed I didn't feel the need to either work or do any exercise. Both brain and body was so relaxed. If someone had asked me about debit and credit I would have had to look it up. I took another glass of wine and enjoyed a movie WITHOUT working at the same time.
When Saturday came I was anxious to meat David again. I went to the amusement park but he doesn't show up during the whole evening. No message either. I begin to wonder if he has seen any of the pictures with me and Jack? Or the ones of Olof and me dancing at Café Opera? Disappointed I hed back home. Why does the universe show me doves as white as snow just next to me and halos around the sun if it doesn't mean anything?
- If you look your heart Anna, you won't be so sad and disappointed, my critical angel on my shoulder whispers to me. The bodyguard had tried to teach me that too; "Never give your heart 100%, maybe 80% but NEVER 100%. You will get hurt " Somehow I believed in the expression "Hearts and minds are like parachutes, they only function when open". To give your self to love was to jump without a parachute, I crashed every time. What should I do?
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The free will ( eng)
Literatura FemininaA true story about dreams of love, happiness and friendship, with passionate relationships, sickness and death and a fight not to loose grip of reality and your own soul. Anna is living in a bad relationship with her sons father. She dreams about...
