Curse Carrier Book 1 Of The Curse Carriers Series

Chapter 28: Letters

Utau POV

After stabilizing for a couple weeks Jisatsu took a bad turn very suddenly. Utau was woken in the night suddenly by Shin pounding on her door. She barely had time to throw on her uniform. They rushed to the infirmary were one of Dr. Blackmoore's assistants tells them to wait for the doctor to come out.

Utau taps her foot impatiently while she waits. Eventually another one of her helpers tells them they've been summoned. Dr. Blackmoore is standing in Jisatsu's hospital room by the boy's bed. He has an oxygen mask over his face and wires attached to him all over the place. He's pale and his lips have taken on a blue color.

"What happened?" Utau asks.

Dr. Blackmoore sighs, "The internal bleeding started up again suddenly. By the time I even noticed something had gone wrong he had already thrown up a liter of blood. I immediately had transfusions hooked up and prepped him for surgery. It's no good. I can't tell where he's bleeding this time or how to stop it. It even leaks out of his eyes sometimes." She sounds weary and almost as if on cue a bright red tears slides out of Jisatsu's right eye.

"Did you put him back under?" Utau asks.

"No. He's in a coma. It happened so quick I couldn't do anything. He became incoherent and had convulsions then lost consciousness and slipped into the coma." She explains.

"Will he wake up?" Shin speaks up for the first time.

Dr. Blackmoore shrugs, "Who knows? I don't even know what caused it. At the rate of degradation he's hearts going to go before long." She answers him.

"Can I see his curse mark?" Shin asks.

Dr. Blackmoore nods and lifts Jisatsu's shirt to show the little hangman's noose. It doesn't look anything like it did a month ago. It's mostly grey now and blurred so it looks more like a bruise than a tattoo. "It's faded a lot. It's even fainter than it was this morning." She comments.

"So it really is Curse related." Shin mutters and looks thoughtful.

"It seems so. I was talking to one of Suzame's friends earlier and she said that Suzame's roommate has been acting strangely. She has stopped talking to her friends and spends all her extra time in her room. When they do talk to her she's snappy and gets angry easily." Dr. Blackmoore says.

"That sounds like what happened to Jisatsu. He started avoiding his friends and somehow ended up like this." Utau mutters.

"It is like their Curse is rejecting them." Shin says. "Just in case you might want to get that girl in here for an examination. If it is being caused by traumatic emotions then dealing with those before they get too bad might be able to reverse it." He suggests.

Dr. Blackmoore nods, "I already planned to have her come in this evening. As for Jisatsu I will do my best but I think he's already too far gone." She looks a little sad. Before leaving the room she grabs a familiar blue comp book from a shelf. "This is what he has been working on for several days now." She holds it out to Utau.

"His letters." She says taking the notebook. Once they're out of the room Dr. Blackmoore sits down and lights a cigarette.

"Not just his. I was the one who helped clean out Suzame's stuff. She had a few letters written herself on some torn out notebook papers. I saved them and tucked'em in the back." She explains.

"Why are you giving them to me?" Utau asks the tired looking woman.

She exhales a cloud of smoke, "One of the letters is to you. There's one Jisatsu wrote for you and Shin as well. I didn't read them but I figured I should give them to you."

Utau looks down at the notebook and opens it to the back so see a few pieces of notebook paper folded in half in the back. The one top has her name written on it. She takes the paper out and unfolds it to read the message it contains.

To Utau,

If you're reading this then I'm probably dead. I'm not writing this with any foreknowledge that I'm definitely gong to die but with the possibility in mind. I just wanted to ask you a favor just in case I really do never leave this place alive. If it's not too much to ask can you hold onto these letters? I don't remember home very well but I do remember having a mother and a father. These two letters are to them. I was hoping you would pass them on if I can't. Hopefully it's nothing and no one will ever have to see these. I'll get to go home myself and burn these letters and live a happy normal life. At least that's what I hope. But I can't help but feel like something terrible is coming. Not just for me but for all of us. Why are they training us how to fight and use our powers as weapons? I don't know and no one will tell me. I just have a very bad feeling about this. A sense of impending doom if you will. I'm scared Utau. What are they going to do with us? I don't know. I just don't know.

But please, just in case I can't go home again, can you deliver my messages.

-Suzame

Utau puts the letter back once she's done reading it. "What page is Jisatsu's letter on?" She asks.

"It's the last one in there." Dr. Blackmoore replies.

Utau flips through the pages until she reaches the last letter. Despite having had two weeks to write Jisatsu had only filled five pages with his pained and almost unreadable handwriting. The last page had specks of brown dotting the page. At the top she can read her and Shin's names.

She maneuvers the notebook so they can both read it.

Miss Utau and Mr. Shin,

Thank you for encouraging me. It's been nice that someone has been trying to give me hope and wants me to live. I did try. I want to see my family again. I want to apologize and be forgiven. I want to play with my baby sister and be hugged by my father again. I want to apologize to my mother properly. But I know I can't. I didn't want to fight with you when you said if I just stay positive I will get better. It's hard to put into words but I'm almost certain I won't live much longer. Even though the pain is fading I don't feel any stronger. My fingers are starting to get numb and my legs won't move when I tell them to. It's getting harder and harder to breathe. I'm so tired I just want to sleep forever. I can see it in the way Dr. Blackmoore looks at me. I can tell she doesn't think I will make it much longer either.

I'm sorry. I even got blood on the page. I don't think I will be able to write much more. I can barely see. I'm sorry if this will be hard to read. Please give this notebook to my father and sister some day. I'm sorry for letting you down. I'm just too tired to try anymore.

A black scrabble across the page shows where Jisatsu finally let go of the pencil.

Tears sting at Utau's eyes and she looks at Shin. "I'm going to hold onto these. We will get out of here and I will make sure their families get their final words." She tells him with determination.

Shin nods, "I will help where I can. Dr. Blackmoore can you save anymore letters or diaries you see if they are about to be incinerated?" He asks the woman.

She gives the two a thumbs up.

"Will Curse allow that? Won't she be mad about this?" Utau asks.

Shin shakes his head, "Curse is different from Samael. She does not want the children to die. She feels pity for them. I am sure she will not mind if you hide their letters. She may even help you."

"Thanks." Utau smiles at him and he smiles back at her.

A few days later Dr. Blackmoore informed them that Jisatsu's heart had finally failed and he had passed away without ever regaining consciousness.