SMB2: Chance of Love

Chapter 28

Cole Justin's POV

Padabog kong isinara ang pinto nang makapasok ako sa kwarto ko.

"Fucking shit!" I yelled irritably as I kicked the wall.

Binato ko ang lahat ng bagay na mahawakan ko. Even my phone and my laptop that was in my bed. Wala akong paki kung masira yon. Basta gusto kong magwala.

I yelled as I throw what ever my hand grabs. I threw a large figurine which hit the wall and smashed into pieces. I even threw my pillows and duvets. Muntik ko nang masira ang kama.

But to hell, I care. Gusto kong magwala. I yelled as I punch and kick the wall with full force. My hand immediately hurt as soon as it made contact with the wall, but I did not stop. I continued punching the wall until my hand began bleeding.

It hurts. It fucking hurts so much but, hell, I don't give a shit! Wala pa ito kumpara sa sakit na nararamdaman ko.

Sumandal ako sa pader at unti unting naupo sa sahig habang nagsimula nang tumulo ang mga luha ko.

"Jivril..." I sobbed like a little boy who just lost his mom.

"Come back..." I said to no one in particular. I'm insane. I'm becoming insane! "Please... Come back, Jivril... Please, come back... Come back to me please..." I begged. I know she cant hear or see me but still, I begged. I begged and hoped that she'll come back right now.

I want nothing but to touch her. Hug her. Kiss her. I want her now... I need her now...

Fuck, I'm such a shitty bastard!

Avery was right. I'm a coward. I'm a fucking coward! I don't deserve Jivril. She fought for me, yet here I am crying my ass out. I'm weak. I am not as strong as her.

But if she is strong, why did she give up? Bakit nya ako sinukuan? Alam nyang may amnesia ako, pero bakit sya sumuko? Bakit sya tumigil? Did she had enough already? Bakit?

Probably cause you're a sick bastard.

Akala nya may mahal na akong iba at pinanindigan ko naman. Ang tanga ko. Ang tanga tanga ko. Ako na yata ang pinaka gagong lalaki sa buong mundo.

Avery was so damn right. I am nothing but a coward. Kung hindi ako naduwag na aminin sa sarili kong nagkamali ako, sana nandito pa sya ngayon. Sana masaya kami. Sana magkasama kami.

I don't deserve her. She can fight for me while I... I cant even woo her. Wala akong ibang alam gawin kundi ang umiyak.

I stayed in that position for almost an hour until I heard the sound of my door opening, but I did'nt move. I did'nt even looked to see who it was.

"Get up." A voice suddenly says making me snap back into reality.

I looked at the person who spoke... I looked at him straight in the eyes.

"I said, get up." He said authoritatively then grabbed my hand as he pulled my up. Tinulak nya ako paupo sa kama at tumayo sya sa harap ko.

"What are you-" I was going to ask what was he doing here but he interrupted.

"Avery called me." He said. I looked down. Hindi ko alam ang sasabihin ko. Wala akong ibang magawa kung hindi ang umiyak. Fuck, I am such a pussy. Hindi sya sanay nang ganito. Hindi sya sanay na nakikitang akong umiiyak.

"Look at yourself, Justin. You look like a mess!" He suddenly yelled. I did'nt answer, I did'nt even bothered to look at him.

"My whole life is a mess." I laughed bitterly. Honestly, I feel like I am nothing but a mess in this world. First, my mom died because of me, then Aisa died because of me... then my Dad died again, because of me. Even jivril's parents died because of me! Fuck, I hate myself! I should just kill myself!

"Ano ngayon ang balak mong gawin?" He asked. Hindi ko alam pero napaiyak ako sa tanong nya.

Umiling ako. "I... I honestly don't know." I said in between sobs.

Sa totoo lang hindi ko na talaga alam ang gagawin ko. Hahabulin ko ba sya? No. She'll reject me. She said it herself. Plus, it been already two months. Maybe she'd move on already. Maybe I should just go away and move on too? No. At least not without her forgiveness. Maybe I should realy just kill myself.

"Justin." Naupo sya sa tabi ko at saka ako inakbayan. "You know... You cant hurt a person over and over and expect her to stay... Especially if holding on does more damage than letting go... You cant blame Jivrielle if she chose to let go... Now do the right thing, Justin. Humingi ka ng tawad. Habulin mo sya. Take the risk, Justin. Maging matapang ka. Kase ayon ang ginawa ni Jivril para sayo. Now if you really love her, you'll be willing to do the same thing for her." He said then tapped my shouler.

I looked up at him and he gave me a comforting smile.

I don't usually show him that I love him but this time, he really deserves to be embraced, so I did. I embraced my brother.

"Thank you, Crys." I said sincerely. I am really thankful for what he said.

I took it as a motivation. He was right. Jivril fought for me, and now its time for me to do the same.

I'll fight for her. I'll take the risk.