Laurens, I Like You A Lot

Tell Me You Don't Love Me

Alex's P.O.V

Before class starts, I hear two girls behind me talking about how one their boyfriends were cheating on them.

"I just don't get it. He always told me he loved me. He said he wanted to marry me. He always reassured me that there was no one else. How can someone make me feel so special and then make another girl feel special? I'm so upset. My heart is broken." She says.

I have trouble paying attention in class after that conversation. I keep thinking about how someone could be capable of cheating on their partner, and then I think about John and if John were to cheat on me, and just thinking about the situation stresses me out too much.

After class, I sulkily walk back to my dorm room, slamming the door and flopping on the bed face down. I don't even notice John sitting at his desk until he says something.

"Woah, why you slamming doors there?" I hear him stand up and he sits on the bed. I turn around so I'm looking at him. He has a big goofy smile on his face and it warms me up.

"Tell me you don't love me." I say. He lifts an eyebrow and scoffs.

"What?"

"Tell me you're cheating on me or something. Tell me you never loved me and that all of this is fake." John laughs and lies down next to me.

"What are you going on about?"

"There were these girls in my class who were talking about how one of their boyfriends cheated on them and it had me thinking what if you cheated on me but then you love me too much to do that, right?" He laughs again and tilts my head so I'm looking at him.

"I will never cheat on you. I'm assuming that is the exact words that the girl's ex said, but I'm being serious. I couldn't even imagine dating someone else, especially dating someone else while I'm dating you. Why would I do that? What's the benefit of that?" I shrug my shoulders and John laughs again. He kisses my forehead. "I will never cheat on you unless I'm being forced to and I have no other choice."

"Forced?"

"Like, 'date me or I kill Alexander'." I widen my eyes and John grabs my hand.

"I was just...thinking about it would be if we broke up, or if you cheated on me, or if you were faking it, or doing it as a joke." John's eyes fall and he frowns.

"I'm not that heartless."

"I know you aren't, which is why I kind of want you to like...be a complete monster or something cause you love me so much and I just want the experience."

"Well...you chose the wrong guy to have that experience with because I'm never gonna hurt you." He kisses my forehead and I sigh.

"Do you ever worry I'm gonna cheat on you?" I ask him. He shakes his head. "Even with me being bi?" He shakes his head again.

"It's called trust Alexander. Do you love me?"

"Yeah."

"Then I don't believe you will cheat on me."

"I just...want to feel what she's feeling. I want to sympathize with her and I can't even do that cause the first and only guy I fall for is like perfect and won't dump me." We both laugh and I rest my head on his chest.

"I'm sorry. Do you want to like...pretend to break up or something?" I laugh.

"No, that's not gonna work, cause I know at the end of the day, it isn't genuine, it isn't real."

"This is such a weird conversation we're having. Starting off with saying, tell me you don't love me. What kind of bullshit." I laugh. "I thought you were playing a trick on me."

"I should have dated more people for you so I could have the experience." I say. John scoffs.

"And what if you stayed with one of them and didn't meet me?" I look up to see him and he looks down at me.

"I doubt I would have stayed with that person that long anyway."

"You wouldn't have even known me, so you wouldn't have known that the love of your life was here."

"I would have gotten a feeling."

"Alright, let's pretend we aren't dating. I hate you, Alexander Hamilton." I laugh.

"I hate you, John Lauren's. You aren't the love of my life. We're over." He scoffs and I tilt his head down to me. I place a small kiss on his lips, and he holds on when I try to pull away.

"John." I mumble against his lips.

"Let me kiss my ex-boyfriend." I laugh and he kisses me again, placing his hands on my hips and positioning himself so he's on top of me. He pulls away and starts kissing down my neck. My body starts to tremble under his kiss.

"John." I say again, this time with more want. He goes back to kissing me, fighting for dominance that I'm willing to give him so quickly. His hand slowly move down my chest and they end up at the bottom of my shirt, slowly tugging it upwards. We separate for a split second so he can take off my shirt. He kisses down my chest, reaching above my waistband of the jeans. He looks up at me with wistful eyes. My breathing and my heartbeat quicken.

"Ever had sex with an ex before?" I feel my cheeks redden as I shake my head. "Well, I'm gonna bang you so hard that we're gonna get back together."

"If that's the case, we should break up more often."