F O U R T Y E I G H T

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Song Of The Chapter: Human- Christina Perri

Conor's POV_

I really can't trust anybody these days, and honestly, that is scaring me.

I know I need to talk to Anastasia. Right now.

It's late.

Almost midnight, actually.

But believe me, I can no longer keep going through this on my own, and nobody knows me better than Anastasia.

I fucked up, I know I did.

But that's everything I seem to know how to do lately.

I need to set this straight; I need to figure my way out.

I've been so out of focus, I didn't even take a second to look at what I had, until I lost it.

I lost what I've always knew I needed, and now that it's gone... I want it back.

I want her love... our love back.

Doing what I did wasn't right, and I need to talk to her. She's the only person that could get me out of this.

Could Mark actually be the one to fake the news? Or is Veronica passing the blame so that she turns out innocent?

I seriously don't even know what to do anymore.

I went there... I went there and nothing of what I expected is the turth.

Everything has been a lie.

I thought that Veronica was the one to expose the news, but she was only a part of the bigger lie, and I have no idea who to believe anymore.

I just want to go talk to Anastasia because all this pressure is killing me and having her away isn't helping at all.

It's hard seeing that in times of hardships, I really can't seem to be as strong as I want to be.

Everything's crashing right before my eyes. My relationship, my career, my sanity...

It's all a big pile of junk by now, and if I don't get out of this soon, I might end up going back to the very start, where everything was as dark as it used to be, even though I thought things might've actually gotten better by now.

"Please, just open the damn door." I whispered to myself, deeply hoping that Anastasia didn't fall asleep by now, even though I'm semi sure she did.

I needed to try, because so far, and after everything I've been through, I actually came to the realisation that I can't talk to anybody but her about every single thing I've got on my mind.

I'm such a dick for neglecting her till I fall back down, but she'll forgive me... I hope she will.

"Hey." I exhaled grisly when I saw her standing inside the frame of the opened door, her puffy eyes hurting me inside, almost as bad as drinking a very hot drink till it burns your tongue, all the way down your stomach, and heating your heart up rapidly along the way.

She's crying.

Conor, you have fucked up.

"What are you doing here?" She rubbed her bloodshot eyes, trying to hide her pain that I had already seen by now, scared to even take a step forward, because I know I will be rejected.

"I have no idea, actually." I chuckled pathetically to the fact that I really just needed to see her... to talk to her, but I guess she's had enough of me by now. "I just wanted to apologise, I guess." I shrugged, scratching the back of my head, nervously hoping I didn't cause those tears in her eyes.

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