Rose

IKADALAWAMPUNG YUGTO: HILING NA PAGKAKATAON

*** Part 3 ***

Pinilit ni Mommy na dun na kami maghapunan sa bahay kaya wala na kaming nagawa. Kumain kami dun at talaga naman binusog niya si Darwin.

Pagkatapos ng hapunan ay nagpaalam na din yung tatlo. At saka naman kami umalis ni Darwin at nagpunta na lang sa isang tahimik at private na lugar kung saan walang nakakakilala sa kaniya. Iba na talaga kapag sikat na.

“You’re okay with this place?” tanong niya sa akin.

“Sure.” Sagot ko habang pinupunasan ang uupuan ko. Baka may dumi eh, sayang tong damit na ipinahiram sa akin ni Lyka.

Umupo na siya sa tabi ko at tumanaw sa kawalan tulad ng ginawa ko. We stayed like that for almost 5 minutes until he broke the silence first.

“Salamat dahil pumayag ka na makipagkita sa akin.” Anya niya. Wow, straight tagalog yun.

Tumungo lang ako. “Yeah. No prob.” Kaswal na sagot ko naman.

Muli na naman kami nabalutan ng katahimikan. Wala akong planong magsalita o manguna sa sasabihin dahil siya naman ang may pakay sa akin. Hindi sa pagiging bitter pero ewan ko ba kung bakit ganito ang nararamdaman ko ngayon. Marahil dala lang ito ng galit na kinimkim ko sa loob ng mahabang panahon.

Sa katunayan nga yan, wala nga dapat akong ikagalit kay Darwin dahil in the first place, wala naman siyang ginawa. Higit sa lahat, wala naman namagitan sa amin. And yet, it’s just had a huge impact on me when he said that he doesn’t want to pursue his feelings for me coz he wanted to chase for his dreams. Masyado lang malalim ang nararamdaman ko para sa kaniya and medyo umasa ako na our feelings will grew and turn into next level—which never happened by the way.

I realized that, I shouldn’t blame him. At once, he just wanted to make his dreams come true. Ako lang ang hindi makatanggap ng katotohanan na he would choose his dreams over me—but hell, wrong thoughts ko yun. Such childish thing.

At napagtanto ko yun. Ngayon. After talking with my friends and having self-reflection, giving him a chance would not hurt me that much. Not the second time around.

‘…A second chance doesn’t always mean a happy ending, It’s a chance to end things right…’                     

Kung ano man ang kahahantungan nitong pag-uusap naming dalawa ay… diyos na ang bahala. Kung magiging happy ending ba o tatapusin namin ng maayos ang lahat.

“So, will you listen to me now?” tanong niya sa akin. Tumingin na ako sa kaniya at tumungo.

He’s still the same, pwera na lang nag mature ang hitsura niya and tama si Lyka, he’s much hotter now. Tumangkad, naging mas fit ang pangangatawan… every physical attributes he has today makes me drool as a normal girl. Scratch the ‘man-hater’ statement ko noong high school. Façade ko lang yun para hindi mainlove sa kaniya nor to anyone.

“When I was still a kid, I dream of being an Architect just like my Dad and Mom. So I decided to be like them.” Panimula niya. Nakinig lang ako. “I can’t brush away my dreams, it was my top priority—not until you came and captured my heart.” With that word, he was just looking in my eyes entirely. Kinilabutan ako. My heart won’t stop beating so loud.

“I got confused, I can’t choose. I can’t loose my dreams neither can’t loose you. But something came up that made me let go of you.” Nakatingin pa din ako sa kaniya. “I got a scholarship in NYU. 100% of it. That was a tough and heavy bargain—I waited for it for so long, can’t let that pass—so I accepted it.”