Meant to be Yours|| Boyf Riends

49

Dread pooled into Sadie's stomach at a ferocious rate.

Once again, she didn't know what to do. She was really suffering with this one because she has secretly been pining for Christine longer than she cared to admit, but it seemed to her as if Christine was in the process of taking advantage of Sadie.

However, she wasn't one to put someone else's life before hers. She was exceedingly selfish in this sense- she even lost a friendship or two because of it.

Sadie would probably never take a bullet for someone. She wouldn't die for someone, she knew that whoever it was would just move on when she was dead. It was relatively sad, but it was also pretty much guaranteed to be true.

Someone dies, people mourn, and then people just forget about said person. It was a viscous cycle and Sadie has witnessed it on multiple accounts.

Again, Sadie questioned if it was worth it to severely injure someone else for a petty crush. Sadie knew that Christine had a terrible personality. She liked to think that Christine had some kindness left in her heart, but she was starting to doubt it.

Optimism was a surprising personality trait that Sadie has always followed, despite her slight psychopathic tendencies. Occasionally she did have a glum outlook on life, but so did everyone else.

Sadie wanted Christine, but she also certainly didn't want to kill anybody.

If she had actually killed Michael, Sadie knew she would have to spend years upon years in therapy. Deep down in her cold, uncaring heart, Sadie had a fairly large soft spot.

Something like that would be so traumatic for her, she could never do that to someone.

Not to mention, Sadie knew the pain of loss. She wouldn't wish it upon anyone, especially since she dealt with her grandfather's death.

This soft spot didn't stop Sadie from actually being a terrible person. She would be thoroughly fine if she severely injured Michael, perhaps leaving him unconscious for weeks on end. She just didn't want him dead, y'know?

To be utterly honest, Sadie used her aesthetic attraction of Jeremy to cover up her romantic attraction to Christine.

Sure, Sadie wasn't completely a flaming homosexual, but it sure felt like it sometimes.

There was just something about Christine that sent Sadie over the moon.

Every time Sadie would even think of Christine, her stomach would flutter uncontrollably and a blush would creep onto her face.

Sometimes, Sadie wished that she and Christine had never lived a life of crime, but then she realized how much she loved the thrill.

The adrenaline rush she felt whilst stealing or hurting someone was undoubtedly the most amazing part of Sadie's life, as much as she didn't want to admit it.

Whenever she brutally tore apart a relationship or shoplifted something she really wanted from the mall downtown, the way Sadie's heart frantically pounded was nothing but pure unadulterated bliss.

She didn't even hate prison. In a twisted way, prison was close to therapeutic to Sadie.

Sadie was always pushed around through most of her childhood, so being alone was always calming.

She didn't enjoy when she had roommates in jail, though. She assumed that they were in there for worse crimes and overall frankly scared Sadie based on their appearances. 

In all honesty, she had nothing to be scared about when it came to the roomates. The worst criminal in there was one who had a history of sexual assault, which Sadie didn't know.

Of course it would scare anyone to be in the same room as someone known to sexually assault people. However, Sadie did the same thing to Jeremy since then.

She didn't know that it was the second time he experienced something like that, but she didn't think of his pain.

Sadie usually just didn't care about the likes of others.

The second time she went to prison, she was placed into isolation, which was heavenly. She sat there, imagining many different random scenarios in her head.

Daydreaming was Sadie's specialty.

In fact, she was lost in her head right now.

She had put plenty of thought into her decision. This time she couldn't act impulsively.

She knew what she had to do.