Silent Tears

chapter 6

I found myself heading to my pad.  She is sleeping in the car seat like a baby.  I pulled over inside the parking space of my condo building. I hurriedly went out of the car.  I scooped her and went inside the private elevator intended for my use and pressed P which is my penthouse.

It was like heaven having her in my arms again.  Reaching my penthouse has never been this great.  Still asleep as she is,  i put her to my bed.  I love seeing her like this on my very bed.  Her hair spread throughout the pillow.  She looks like a Goddess.  Pumikit ako ng mariin.  It's been a long time since I saw her lying on my bed.  Soundly asleep. 

It was just like yesterday.  The memories of us being together.  Cuddling whole night long.  Seeing her beautiful face each morning I wake up.  We were so happy then. 
Until one morning,  i found her mom in my living room.  "Daniel..." 
I was alarmed with her kind of tone. 

We talked about my situation.  The one that concerns her daughter.  I expressed my pure intention.
"She has still a long way to go Daniel.  Please don't trap her yet in your relationship.  She is still so young for that."  She is pleading to me this time. 
"Just let her spread her wings and fly.  Time would come that you will be together again.  But not now..." Parang nahihirapang bigkasin niya ang bawat salita
She is holding as if to catch my attention.
"If that time comes, I will make it right for you, son." Her calling me son is like music to my ears.

"I love her so much tita that I am afraid of letting her go."  Pinigilan kong mapaluha.  Bakit kailangan naming umabot sa ganito?  I know she is still young for me but I just can't.  I am four years older than her.  I already had my masters in Business Management in New Jersey.
"Think of it son.  Trust me, it will be the best for both of you."  Then she left.

Idiniin ko ang nakapagitna sa mga kilay ko.  The flow of those memories made me go through those tough times.  I am no saint in those time that we're not together.  I had affairs but deep in my heart, she is my only one.

I took my shirt from the closet.  I need her to change clothes para makapagpahinga siya ng mabuti.  Yeah yun nga.  I covered her curvaceous body with duvet as I remove her garments.    Daniel, keep your buddy.  Goddamit!  Kastigo ko sa sarili ko.  Gusto na kasi kumawala ng alaga ko. 

After changing her with my shirt,  I immediately took a cold shower.  This is the best diversion of strong desire that consuming me.  Hinayaan kong bumuhos ang malamig na tubig galing sa shower head.  With eyes  closed,  i felt relief after having the cold shower.

I went back to bed.  She is now soundly asleep.  She slid inside the duvet at humiga na rin sa tabi niya.  I pulled her closer to me.  I want to feel her warmth against mine... just for tonight.  Her scent filled my nostrils.  I kissed her hair as I closed my eyes to sleep.

"Hmm..." she murmurs.
She nuzzled into my neck and shoulders. 
"Good night hon."  I was able to say it in my sleep.