Silent Tears

chapter 35

I hate him to my inner core!
I looked at Freya. Her eyes full of pity for me. I can't be weak by now. But I need her to get rid of this two evil creatures from my sight.  I can't bear to breath same air with them.

Nakarinig rin yung dalawa ng malulutong na mura galing kay Freya after I freaked out with his presence and his woman. Kanina pa nakaalis ang babae niya. I don't give a damn kung pinaalis ba niya o kusa yung umalis.

"I don't want him near in this room. I cannot lost my child because of him... because of them. Please do me a favor Frey."  napahikbi na ako. I closed my eyes not minding Daniel's plea.

"Hon please, don't do this to me. Let me take care of you. C'mon!"
his voice already cracked. Alam ko malapit lang siya sa higaan ko. I can smell his scent. God, please keep me sane.

"Daniel, huwag mo nang pahirapan si Cassandra. Hindi maganda sa kalagayan niya na dagdagan mo pa ang stress niya sa katawan. For the sake of your child, give her a moment of her own... ALONE." paliwanag pa ng kaibigan ko.  She emphasized the last word. 

God I'm so lucky to have a dear friend like her. Kung hindi dahil sa tulong nila, di ko alam kung saan ako pupulutin sa ngayon. Someday I can pay her back. Huwag lang ng sa katulad ko na sitwasyon.

"Frey, you don't understand. Ayaw na niya akong makita. Di ako papayag sa gusto niyang mangyari. Please, not this way." is he crying? Iba na kasi ang timbre ng boses niya. I still keep my eyes shut. Ayoko siyang tingnan kasi baka mamaya bawiin ko pa kung ano ang nasabi ko na.

"I know. But just for now. She's been through a lot already. Pagpahingain muna natin siya.  That's the least but the best you could do for her." aniya.
"Frey, ang hirap ng hinihingi niya eh." he cursed many times na hindi ko mabilang.  Katakot takot na mangumbinsi ang ginawa ni Freya.  Dahil siguro sa sobrang pagod at puyat, nakatulog na rin ako.

Nagising na lang ako na tahimik ang buong silid.  Yung bigat ng pakiramdam sa dibdib ay nadoon pa rin.  Akala ko pagkagising ko mawala na lahat ng sakit katulad ng isang panaginip.  Akala ko lang pala yun.  Kasi up to now, I can feel my heart being ripped a thousand times. 
"He already left."  as if she read my mind.  "Cass, you cannot always send him away.  Remember, he is the father of your child.  And that he has the right to your child."

"Niloko niya ako.  Anong gusto mong gawin ko.  Accept him like nothing happened? No!" kailangan ko magmatigas.  Hindi pwede ang ganito.  Paulit uit lang niya akong saktan.  At yun ang hindi ako makakapayag.

***

"Dude! Pang ilang bote na yan?  Looks like you wanna be wasted.  Buti dito ka napadpad sa bahay."  pagbibiro pa sa akin ni Rafael.

Its been hours since I came in.  Madami na rin bote ang naubos ko.  Kaunti lang naman ang ininom ni Rafael.  Di kasi papayagan ng pinsan niya maglasing ang asawa.  Napaka swerte nila sa isa't isa.  They end up with each other.  No matter how player my friend is before, fate bring them together.  Sana ganoon ang mangyari sa amin ni Cassandra.  Mahal na mahal siya.  Pero paksyet lang.  Monette tricked on me.
"Fuck!" I emptied my glass in one swift.
"Dark, tell me.  Problem?" aniya.
"Cassandra is at the hospital now.  She is pregnant."  halos mabilaukan na ako ng sariling laway.  Nanunuyo bigla ang lalamunan ko.  I hate being a jerk.

"Woah! Congratulations dude!"  He tapped me on my shoulders. 
"Yeah thanks man." napayuko ako.  I stared on my empty glass.  I don't know how to win her back.

"So what seems to be  a problem.  We should celebrate then.  Babe! Come here." tawag nito sa asawa mula sa kusina.  Kakatulog lang kasi ng anak nila.  Maybe she prepared food for us while having a drink.  Ganito ka maasikaso ang pinsan ko.  Ma swerte talaga itong tarantadong ito.  Napailing na lang ako.  Kailan pa kaya mangyari sa akin yung ganito?

"Dark will be a father soon.  Cassy is pregnant!"  excited na balita nito sa pinsan ko.
"Really?  Wow, congratulations!"  nahawa na rin siya sa excitement ng asawa niya. Nakayakap ang kaibigan ko sa kanya habang magkatabi sila.  
Inusisa nila ako tungkol sa kung anong problema ko.

"She almost had miscarriage."  I can taste my bile in my throat. Shit! Ansakit!  I massaged the bridge of my nose. 
"What? Why?" she asked in confusion.
"Monette invited me to Boracay for her shoot.  I didn't know what happened.  Somebody uploaded photo of us in Boracay.  She may have mistook it.  Nothing happened between us, Sophie.  God knows how much I love her.  I wanted to end what's between me and Monette.  That's why I agreed of meeting her there.  I didn't expect things will be messed up like this." nanghihina ako habang pinaliwanag ko ang mga nangyayari bakit umabot sa ganito ang sitwasyon.

"That bitch!  She has to pay for this!" galit na sambit ni Sophie.
"Babe..." inalo naman ni Rafael ang asawa.

"I already blocked the news.  Everything is fine except Cassandra.  She doesn't want to see me.  Di ko kakayanin Sophie."  pumiyok na rin ang boses ko.

"Don't worry Dan, we'll get through this.  So what's your plan?"  she asked me.

That made me think of an idea to make things right.  I have to do this.  I will not wait for destiny to make it happen.  I will do it myself.