Magical Mystery Tour

I'm a Loser

Much as I hadn't wanted to go on set the next day, I knew if I wanted to be taken seriously, I'd have to show up.

I was a mess!

I arrived bright and early for a breakfast with the cast before heading out on the bus again. I was greeted immediately by Jessie, she motioned me to her table. Sitting with her was a young lady named Mandy who was playing a character named Miss Winters. I learned quickly EVERYONE loved Jessie. It was hard not too, she was always cheerful and very welcoming to all the other actors on set, and she had an absolutely infectious laugh!

I sat down, feeling more unsure of myself than ever, both Jessie and Mandy greeting me. I was out of sorts, more quiet then normal. Jessie took note immediately

"What's the matter Tilly love?" she asked softly "You don't seem yourself this morning"

I bit my lip trying hard to ignore the painful news I'd gotten the night before, but sitting there with my fellow cast mates, both concerned about me...I spilled. Not only did I tell them everything, I wound up sobbing to them. Mandy, who I'd just met the night before at dinner, got up from her seat and held me. I felt pathetic! Especially when I heard others, including John and Ringo ask what the matter was. Jessie calmly explained it to them.

That afternoon, I couldn't focus. Mandy snuck me off set to take me out for ice cream and a dip in the hotel pool. I was concerned upon leaving as Paul had given us disapproving looks.

"Oh Tilly lovey, you've got nothing to worry about" Mandy tried assuring me over ice cream "Paul is really a sweet man, I think he's just stressed about the film...and between you and me, I think he's having relationship troubles of his own"

"So it's nothing personal then?" I asked.

"No. I'll suss it out with him tomorrow. I'm sure he'll understand once I tell him what happened" she smiled.

"You don't have to do that" I protested, but Mandy insisted.

I was frustrated at myself for ever letting something affect me like that, leaving bad impressions, coming off as nothing more than an insecure, whiney brat.

"I'm not normally like this, you know" I said before delving deeper into my sundae "I'm actually pretty funny"

"Well, one can't expect you to be in top form with your nasty situation can they?" Mandy laughed. "Don't worry, you'll fit in well. Once ya' came out of your shell yesterday, we all had fun with you!"

I smiled as I finished my ice cream. Much as I'd been dealing with the nastiness my sister and Cedric pulled on me, I had friends where I was.

That night I got back to my hotel room, took a long bath and called Sam again. At Sam's suggestion, I wrote a letter to my now ex. We both laughed like idiots over it before I sent it, we did the same when Sam went through a terrible breakup. Upon leaving my hotel room to drop my letter off for the carrier in the morning, I ran into Mandy again, who made me feel even more excited for the next day of filming before I got back to my hotel room.

I felt much better the next morning and couldn't wait to be back on set. I arrived again for breakfast, Jessie being the first to find me and ask how I was. I advised her I was doing much better and feeling myself again. After finishing breakfast we piled onto the bus. I spent a most of the morning chatting with Georg, he was incredibly quiet compared to the other three, I think I related to that in my own shyness. When Paul finally arrived on the bus, he seemed extremely agitated, even angry. John leaned back to me "I think he and Jane called things off last night" he said quietly "It could be a long day, if you thought you had a sulk on yesterday, you've seen nothin' yet!" he winked. I smirked at the remark, but couldn't help feeling bad for The Beatle I'd talked to the least so far. Admittedly, I found him incredibly attractive. I also was incredibly curious about him. I pushed those thoughts aside in order to focus on the task at hand.