Magical Mystery Tour

Secret Smile

My things were packed and I was back with my cast mates sitting to a quick breakfast, feeling exhausted, but excited.

"Alright, Tilly...what happened? Where were you last night?" Mandy whispered to me. Jessie only rolled her eyes at our antics.

"It's no one's business but my own." I laughed "'sides who says I hadn't just fallen asleep for the evening, and didn't hear you knockin' at my door" no sooner had I said this, than Paul walked by the table he smiled saying "Morning everyone" then he gave me a specific smile, one I'd grown to recognize and said "Morning Miss Tilly" before walking off with Mal to direct him on where everyone's bags needed to go.

"That, is what tells me you weren't asleep last night" Mandy laughed. I blushed and went back to my toast.

That day on the bus, I learned never give a balloon to John Lennon. He spent most of the morning trying to annoy me with it, while I conspired with little Nicola against him.

We filmed on the bus well into the night as we drove to Kent. I'll never forget the direction we got from Paul for the scene that night.

"Well, everyone...we have a few lagers on board here and you are all very welcome to them. We'll just be filming whatever happens"

I was astonished! We were being paid to drink and "see what happened". Well, what happened was a drunken sing along. Meanwhile, John kept nudging me to sit near Paul, I would steal his hat in retaliation for trying to embarrass me. When we'd stopped singing at one point, Paul glanced back at me...I was taking a rather large drink of my lager, Paul smiled "Tilly luv," he said a bit drunkenly "There's a seat fer ya' right here" he motioned to the seat Mandy usually sat in, I looked to see she'd conveniently moved to another seat and grinned and waved at me as she took another drink.

"Is that an invite then?" I called.

"Go on" John said "Give me my bloody hat first" I laughed and shoved in on his head before getting up from my seat. I didn't realize how sozzed I was as I stood and stumbled a bit, Paul got up to help me get to my new seat however, with both our drunken states and the movement of the bus, it must've looked like a pathetic ballet of sorts. As the bus turned, I fell into him laughing, he laughed as well as his arms naturally went around me. He smiled and kissed me. I was a bit surprised, we were in front of the entire cast, and he seemed to be fairly private about his life.

"Ha!" Mandy called "I knew ya' weren't in last night"

I think that was the most fun I'd had on a set! The rest of the night was filled with our drunken songs until we arrived in Kent. The hotel had already been arranged for most of the actors, of course the four fabs had a bit more posh surroundings.

It was late, Paul sat with me at the back of the bus, one arm resting at my waist.

"I should be calling a cab for myself" I said finally.

"Tilly luv, don't worry yourself about a cab" he smiled "I can drive ya'"

"don't want ya' to trouble yourself." I yawned. Paul smiled at me.

"You could stay with me tonight...." He said finally. I looked to him, taken back a bit

"...It's a larger suite, somewhat homey....comfortable" I hushed him by kissing him. He smiled, looking like a kid who'd just gotten his way.

"Is that a yes then?" he asked hopefully.

"Not tonight luv" I said. Much as most of me wanted to jump at the opportunity, I couldn't.

"We wouldn't have to do anything luv, if that's what this is about, it'd just be nice to not sleep alone" he said softly. Much as I agreed with him, I had a feeling it would eventually lead to sex, which again, much as most of me screamed for it, I didn't want to...not yet anyway.

"Just give me some time luv" I sighed.

"Is it me?" he asked timidly. I'd never heard him use that voice before, he came across as confident at all times, but that voice showed that he really was human, that he too had insecurities like anyone else. I looked at him curiously.

"What do you mean?" I asked. In my mind it didn't make sense, he was wonderful. Always very sweet to me and fun to be around. Why would it be him?

"Well, a lot of birds...want a shag, just to say they've been with me. Then there's birds I really like, that aren't just a passing phase, who don't want to get caught up in the fame...or want to be their own, the clever ones. And while that's all well and good, I don't want to be stuck with the dime a dozen birds the rest of me life" he confessed. I had honestly, forgotten who he was. He was just Paul since we'd gotten to know each other. I ran my fingers gently through his hair.

"That's not it at all. I've honestly forgotten your fame until now. I don't care about all that really. I need to take things slow, for my own sake. I'm just scared. I'm scared what's going to happen when all this is over, when I have to go back home and deal with the people who betrayed me" I said softly. "Most of all, I'm afraid when this is all over, we will be too" Paul searched my face again, he'd started doing this more often with me for some reason.

"Then we'll take it slow." He said with some finality "I want ya' to be with me Tilly luv, but I understand. I can assure you, I wouldn't do what Cedric did to you"

"Wait until you meet my sister..." I said softly, looking down. He lifted my chin

"I've only got you on me mind Tilly" he said "For now, I should get you back to your hotel room, it's late and we have a big day of filming tomorrow"

Paul dropped me off at my hotel with a kiss goodnight. It was nearing midnight, I decided much as it was late, that I'd ring Sam. It had been a few days.

Sam answered the phone a bit drunk that night, she was never one to turn down a night on Carnaby, but she was excited to hear from me

"Bloody hell! I was beginning to think ya' forgot about me!"

I laughed. It was good to hear her voice.

"How could I forget my drunk of a flatmate?"

"shut it...'sides it's just not the same drinkin' without ya' Tilly bean"

"Ya' got Ginny, don't ya'?"

"Yeah, but our trio is down to a duo until ya' get home...oh! Speaking of which, how's the film going?"

"Fantastic! I haven't had this much fun in a long time. We're in Kent now, wrapping up filming the end of this week I believe"

It was sad to think, just as soon as all this started, it would be ending. I was jarred from my thoughts by a cheer from Sam.

"WHOO! We're going out to the club when ya' get back Tilly"

"Sounds good Sam," then a thought crossed my mind "How's Cedric?" I wasn't even sure why I asked...

Did I still care about him?

Or was I just feeling vindictive? Sam sighed.

"Cedric...well, he's still shaggin' your sister luv," Sam said cautiously. Tact and Sam didn't necessarily go hand in hand "Tilly lovey, I think it's time you moved on. He isn't worth the effort—"

"Ha! I'm not giving him the benefit of thinking I still want him! There are more, much more, appealing fish in the sea!"

Sam laughed.

"Oh really? Meet a strapping young lad on set?" she inquired.

"One might say that"

"Do tell Till, I may be sozzed, but ya' can't get away with not telling me your adventures in the land of movie stardom"

I laughed.

"Fine. Fine. You are my flatmate and best friend....however you have to promise not to say a word"

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Soundtrack: Secret Smile - Semi Sonic