The Capitol Games

Chapter 24- Nerves

My incredible happiness that I had felt was short lived. It wan't that my plan was so miraculous, it just straight out cancelled the Capitol Games, it was incredibly dangerous, and not one of the adults would agree to it if we told them. So we didn't. Finnick, Addie and I spent lot's of time in the gym these past few days, shocking Sam, Mom, Dad and Haymitch.

I felt bad, not telling Sam about everything, but I kept telling myself that I couldn't. I've also been so much on edge lately. I've found a plan so shady and dodgy, I've found a needle in a haystack, and I can't let it slip away. I can't muck this up.

I picked out the last arrow from my quiver strapped to my back and shot it right at the bullseye.

I couldn't do the thing mom does where she pieces the back of one arrow with another, but I could hit the target, which I figured was good enough.

"I still don't get why you can't tell him." Finnick says. We're in the gym currently, the public readings being tomorrow.

"I can't."

I hear the spear clatter to the floor.

"Why not?" Finnick asks cooly.

Over by the wights, Addie turns to us.

"You said we need as many people as possible, then why can't you just tell Sam?" Finnick says.

"Because of the parents" I say, is slight frustration, because I hate doing this. "Because of Annie, Haymitch, Evelyn, Peter, Katniss and Peeta! They have exactly four children between them. Us." I say harshly. "I can't let all four of them be put in danger, don't you understand?"

Finnick just stares back at me.

"I-I know that Sam can probably to a better job of protecting himself because he kick boxes, but I'm his elder sister." I stutter. "I-I need to protect him."

Finnick comes closer to me. "But don't you understand, he is a really valuable asset." Finnick presses. "He would probably be better..."

"Better at what?" I say coldly. "Beating up people that us girls?"

Finnick looks taken aback. "No. No, Lian. I never said that-"

"But it's what you meant." I say.

Finnick shakes his head. He takes my arm. "Lian, I'd keep my life in your hands. Or Addie's. I already have. How could you say that?"

I wrench my hand from his grasp and turn to walk away, only to find my path blocked by Addie. "That's not fair, Lian." she says. "You can't accuse Finnick, out of all people of being sexist. Haven't you realised that his best friends are you and me? Girls? He trusts you more than he trusts himself." Addie's eyes are cold, something that they've never been to me. "That was really low, Lilian."

I don't know whether it was her use of my whole name, or the look in her eyes, that made me look to Finnick.

On his face was the most painful expression ever. Guilt slammed into me so hard, that I was grateful for Addie holding onto my arm. It was hurt, the look on his face. And I had put it there.

I can't look at him. I can't believe I had said that. Finnick was just trying to help.

"I'm so sorry." I whisper. I'm shocked to find tears stinging the back of my eyes. I look up at him. At the boy who I knew since I was born. Who basically lived in my house for the majority of his time. The boy who would never let me get hurt. The boy who was my brother.

I shake my head in shame. "I'm really sorry. I don't know what got into me." It takes effort to meet his eyes, but I do. "I'm sorry, Finnick."

A tear drips down my cheek.