Short Of a Breath

|Chapter 1|

"Frank..."
I can't move.
"Frankie, wake up."
It hurts, but I can't feel anything.
"Frank fucking Iero wake the hell up"
The smell of stale cigarettes and coffee jolts me awake inside of my head and reality. I open my eyes to see the boy I dreamed about last night, and well for a while.
"Gerard" I sigh. He sits on the side of me, looking down at me with, what looks like pity in his eyes.
" You've been asleep for a while, I don't know, maybe 3 days" he smiles and cups my face, i obviously confused and still oblivious to everything around me. I never know what this boy means to tell me. I tend to keep it that way, though.
"You're a wreck, you know that? Mentally and physically." He let out. I close my eyes for just a moment, just to make sure all was real. I had mixed emotions when I realized it was.
"Thanks, gee, that makes me feel fantastic" I try to sit up but I feel a sharp, yet sore pain in my right arm. Connected to it is an IV and a large, almost clear bag of liquid hanging from a stand.
What the hell?
I look around and see that I'm in a weird hospital setting. I let it all set in.
Dull grey curtains covering large windows, making the room less vibrant, only rays of light letting in, with dust moving through the light beams. A book shelf, filled with probably, thousands of different stories ready to be discovered and ripped apart by the eyes of the reader.
To far, Frank. Stop thinking this way, dammit.
"Penny for your thoughts, Mr. Iero?" I pull my gaze to a man in a bluish-grey coat with only a name tag that read Dr. Reath
Dr. Reath
With dark salt and pepper like hair and a very sharp jawline, making me believe he's about, 30 years old.
"Now that I have your attention, Frank, I'd like to tell you where and why you are here" he stares at me with no emotion, feeling like he needs a response i give him a nod and he continues.
"Frank my staff we're called to your house by your mother, she made a report that she found you on the floor of your bedroom, bleeding from your arms, passed out with a bottle of depressants next to your leg. When we transported you here, we also found multiple scars on your legs, care to tell me why we find ourselves in this situation?"
The quickness of his words make me almost dizzy, so I try to change the subject.
"Where am I?" He looks at me annoyed and continues to ask me the question.
"Why did you try to kill yourself?"
"Mr, Reath. Please stop questioning the boy until he is fully awake."
A woman in a short slim dress walked into veiw. She looked almost the same age as the doctor. With very long brown hair, she was actually very beautiful. I stared at her for a while, until she spoke in my direction.
"Name's Sarah, I'm your mothers lawyer, it's nice to finally get to meet you." Wait. Her lawyer? Why is she here?
" I know you haven't heard of me ever since your mother and father divorced but, I am here to make sure you get into a safe place for your condition."
I stared at her with confusion. Condition? What the hell is she talking about? I'm fine.
"What condition? I'm perfectly fine." I let out
She lets out a small laugh and walks over to me, and lays her hand on my thigh.
"Honey, we both know that is not true, thats why me and your mother are looking for a safe place for your illness"
Okay, what? Illness?
"Where's my mother."
"She doesn't wish to see you in this condition at the moment."
"Okay. Where's Gee?"
"I'm sorry?" She looks at me with confusion. Then she seemed to realize something and goes to ask me another question.
"You mean Gerard?" She stares down at me with concern.
"Yes, Gerard, where is he, he was here a minute ago when I woke up. I want to speak with him."
She backs up a few steps from me and looks at the notebook she has in her hand then stares back at me.
"Frank for the past year, you've been in and out of different schools and therapy sessions, am I correct?"
"Yea, but wha-"
"All having to do with this male you know, as Gerard Way, am I correct?" She interrupts
"Yea, but what does this have anything to do with the-"
"Frank, you do know what happened March 22, 2013 don't you?"
I froze. I couldn't speak. All I could remember was that exact day.
"Frank, stay back"
"No! Where is he!"
"Frank you cant come through here, the police just ar-"
"I don't give a shit! Where's Gerard!?" I was in a panic. The text made me run 10 blocks to get to my best friends house.
'Help'
Help
But I couldn't. I didn't know how.
I push through the doors, past Gerard's mom, and detective, not aware or caring about the consequences, invading a crime scene. I run to his room.
No.
Gerard.
Gerard!!
His mop of black greasy hair is smeared all around his neck and face, like paint. Blood on his arms and legs.
He looked pained.
Everyone was wrong about death.
The last thing on his face that I could think of was peaceful.
I fall to my knees, tears falling out of my eyes.
"No!! You asshole! What happened to staying alive!! You can't leave m- god, gee...please..please don't leave me alone."
As I get surrounded by family members of the boy who was once alive, I look at his cold and sorrowful body, I realize, the boy i believed to fall in love with, was gone.
"Yes. I do." I stare at my chewed on, pale fingertips.
"Then you'd agree with me that, Gerard Way is dead" she looked at me with no emotions, well, almost terror in the situation, that was everything but normal.
"He's not dead. I saw him today, when I woke up, he's alive, I know he is, you can't convince me otherwise." I mumble
She sigh and leans in the wall near the door.
"Well, Frank that brings me to another thing. You do realize why you've had problems, including after Gerard's death, correct?"
"No..." Fuck, just let it out already.
"Frank, you were diagnosed with
schizophrenia at the age of 12."
What?
"That doesn't mean I still have whatever the hell that is, I told you and my mother, I'm not fucking crazy."
"I'm not going to argue with you. This paper explains why and what schizophrenia is, feel free to teach yourself. You will be moved to Chemical institution, and will be placed with a new therapist, who will explain more once you get there, I hope to see you again, in a hopefully more healthy state. Goodbye Frank."
With that she handed me a small packet and walked out of the room with nothing but a fake smile.
I couldn't say anything so all I did was look at the paper she had handed me.
Frank Iero
Age: 17
Sex: male
Illness/diagnosis: Schizophrenia
Explain the illness:
a long-term mental disorder of a type involving a breakdown in the relation between thought, emotion, and behavior, leading to faulty perception, inappropriate actions and feelings, withdrawal from reality and personal relationships into fantasy and delusion, and a sense of mental fragmentation.
Reason: cases connected to his friends death, Gerard Way, in 2013, and traumatic experiences during childhood.
"So, you finally found out what life slapped onto your shoulders huh?" A familiar voice, soft and warm in my ears rasped.
I see Gerard sitting next to me in an arm chair, pulling on his black jacket.
"Do you wear anything else besides jackets?" I laugh, changing the subject.
"I'm a jacket slut, remember?" He smiles at me, showing his small baby teeth, I've grown to love so much.
"Frankie, im sorry." He looks down at his black pants
"Why?" I sit up, feeling less dizzy than I was before.
"For making everyone think you're nuts, this is my fault."
"Well if I was smarter and better enough to have made it to you in time, you wouldn't be dead, and I wouldn't be labeled a freak." I blurt out
He stares at me automatically, with anger and sadness. His eyes full of pain. He stands and walks to the door.
"No one could've saved me, Frank.You can fight this all you want. But like you said-"
"Gee, please.."
"-it was to late" he walks out, and I was alone, once again.