Short Of a Breath

|Chapter 2|

After a day of being stuck in a hospital bed, alone, only having visits from the nurse, who'd bring my food into my room, which I'd barley eat, I was given my clothing from my house, and was getting ready to be transported to the Institution, which I tried numerous times to refuse, but had no choice in the matter since I'm only seventeen.
Sarah showed up to the hospital before I began my plan to escape out of the hospital window.
"The car is waiting for us Frank, please grab your things" she walked out of the room, without even looking at me.
I can do whatever the hell I please, thanks.
I walk into the bathroom to comb my hair.
I've always hated mirrors. I always despised what they showed me. This nasty human being, with ruffled raven black hair, with a pale face, and dull brown eyes. The only reason I'd ever start even sneaking glimpses into a mirror, was because of Gerard. He always liked looking in the mirror to put on makeup for fun, or to fix his hair. He never said he liked the way he looked though, now that i think about it.
"Frank, now." Sarah is staring into the same mirror as I am when I fall out of my daze. I don't respond. I grab my bags and listen to the bitch, so I don't regret anything later.
We make it to the car, in the parking lot of the hospital, and she drives a total of 35 minutes, till we finally get to the large institution.
When we get to the entrance, we're greeted by a woman, wearing a shirt that says 'Chemical Institution helping the challenged since 1940!'
"Hello! New fish bait I see!" She beams.
I feel very uncomfortable. She and Sarah both share a laugh and make conversation as I walk into the building. I look at the art decorating the entrance of the building and sit on the couch along the wall, waiting for Sarah to hurry the hell up.
"Frank, this is Mrs Carrie, she's a staff on unit 2"
"Okay" I stare at the two women blankly.
"Ah, well its nice to meet you Frank, I'll be showing you around from here." She smiles at me and walks to the end of the entryway, waiting for me. I look at Sarah, waiting for something, not sure what though. With this place making me want to cry, I was hoping she'd say this was at least, the wrong place, and that I was normal, and didn't need to be moved here. Instead she comes to my side and looks me in the eye.
"Take care of yourself, okay kid?" She pats me on the shoulder and I nod, looking her in the eye, pleading with her to take me with her, in my head. I watch as she turns and walks out of the door. Now, I didn't know, or really like her, but damn did I wish she never left.
"Mr. Iero, this way please"  I grab my bag and walk up to her. Not saying anything.
"You don't need to talk, but you're going to have to walk with me while I tour the place with you. Now please, follow me."
I obey, and just walk with her down a hallway, up some stairs, to a large closed door.
"Now this is Unit 1, for boys, at this institution. there are 9 boys in your unit, all with different problems, so since you fully understand, please make note that not all boys here are fully aware of everything, now come with me, we have to meet Ray"
I didn't say anything, just followed her, as she opened the door, with her badge. We walked into what looked like, a large living room, full of different toys, a tv, books, and boys scattered around in it.
"Hey, boys" Mrs. Carrie said aloud, every boy stopped what they were doing and stared at her.
All boys gave her greetings and then stared at me.
"This is Frank, he'll be here for a while, so please be kind, thank you for your attention" No one said anything, just continued whatever they were doing after she spoke. Some still stared, though, annoying the hell out of me.
Stop fucking looking at me.
"Who's this?" Someone said behind us. Me and Mrs Carrie looked back to see a man, with very large, poofy hair, in a plain black shirt a dress pants, standing behind us leaning on the wall.
"Ah, Mr. Toro, we were looking for you." Mrs. Carrie smiles
"Great, you're Frank right? Nice to meet you." He moves his hand out to me, I shake it, not saying anything, still wondering why the hell I'm here.
"No talk huh? Ha, well the boys'll fix that for you, see you tomorrow, Im heading out. Frank, Mrs. Carrie." He walks out of the room.
"Its almost dinner, so I'll show you to your room, before I have to go over to unit 2. Follow me." She walks down through the living room, while the boys were still glaring at me, and walk Down a very long L shaped hall way, walking all the way to the end, and into a room.
The room was a double of itself on each side. Two beds, chairs, desks, and closets. One side was completely plain, nothing on it, and the other was covered In posters and stuffed animals, and papers, this person loved the color purple for sure, and stuffed bunnies.
"This side is yours, your roommate Ryan is in the living room now, he has severe PTSD so I hope you like to hear screaming late at night. Dinners in 30, so be out by then, get settled in." She walks out with out anything else.
I just stare at the room for a while, not wanting to do anything, I was scared, terrified, and just tired, of this whole situation. I put my bag on my bed and sit on the floor and look down at my arm and glancing at the stitches going down both of them, remembering what I had done, almost a week ago.
Tears. Falling down my cheeks, onto my shirt.
I stare at my door and laugh at myself. I guess this is how I go out. A stereotypical emo fuck up.
" your nothing but a joke"
" You're crazy!!"
"Snap out of of Frank, this isn't wonderland."
I know now. This isn't my place, and I don't wish to live in it anymore.
"Frank!" I stare at my mother, who had opened the door, to find me, all I here is her screaming, but i cant see her, merely a blurry figure in my eyesight, as I slip in and out of reality.
I don't pay attention to anything she says of course, cause as I fall into a deep, cold, darkness, all I can pay attention to, is the boy with short grayish white hair, looking at me in the corner of my room, tears falling down his pale face.
"Stop it, Frank" a voice snaps me out of my thought once again.
"I thought you we're mad at me-"
"You need to move on." He walks to my side and falls to the floor next to me.
"I can't, Gerard, you know that, it shou-" He  covers my mouth with his hand, and looks into my eyes, with his intense, angelic like, raven hazel eyes.
"Please, let's stop talking about this, Frankie"
He puts his hand down, but I grab it and raise it to my chest, under where my heart is supposedly located. He looks up at me.
"Can you hear that, Gee? Can you feel it?, my heart?"
"Yes, Frankie, can-"
"Then that means I'm alive, right? It means I'm real?"
"Frank i-" he turns away slightly. I put his hand over his and press it to his chest
"Gerard, where's your heartbeat? Why can't you feel it?-"
"Frank, stop. Please-" he starts to tear up and move away.
"No Gerard, tell me! Why is this happening!" I continue, until I hear small sobbing sounds.
"F-frank.." I look up to see him crying, his gaze at his lap, as I'm still grasping his hand. I let go and it falls to his side, and I move to hug him, before I could he scoots back, flinching.  I start to tear up and scoot closer again.
"Gee, I'm sorry...please..I didn't mean-"
"I don't mean to hurt you, Frank, but there are some things that are darker than others..please, just- can we just keep going? I cant-"
"Yes, Gerard. I won't ask again..." I look down at my hands and cover my arms with my sleeves, trying my hardest not to continue to cry, knowing that I lost this fight.
Before I could think more of this through, I feel arms around my neck and a head on my shoulder, I give in, snuggling closer to him. I touch his hair, trying my absolute hardest to believe it was real.
" I don't know what I'd do without you, real or imaginary, you know..I just- god, I like you so much i-" I let out, snuggled into his hair.
" Vous sont tellement putain émotionnelle" he mumbles into my ear
"You know I don't speak French, asshole" I say, slightly annoyed. He laughs, grabbing my face.
"You are so fucking emotional" he laughs in my ear as he grabs me to push me on the floor. I grab his wrists and turn him to where I'm laying on top of him. We're both giggling like little bitches, and fuck, how much I just wanted to kiss him was insane.
"Frankie I can't move, let me go, you dick." I lick his face and he scrunches up his nose and picks me up, out of no where, and basically throws me on the bed. I laugh and stare at him in shock and amusement.
" I didn't know you were that strong, skeleton boy" I tease
"Shut the hell up, you midget. You weigh like ninety pounds" he laughs, wiping off his face.
I stare at him and just let him soak into my memories.
He's so fucking beautiful.
"Gerard i-" he stares at me with a smile and ruffles his hair.
"Yea, frankfort?"
I look at my lap and blurt it out
"you are so fucking beautiful "
I look up to gaze at his reaction, but the boy I loved so dear, wasn't there, yet another boy was leaning on the door looking at me, with a confused expression instead.
"Thank you?.."
Goddammit, Gerard.