Short Of a Breath

|Chapter 9|

"Rise and shine, boys! It's Sunday! You know what to do" Derick yells into the hallway.

I've been here for about 3 weeks  long enough to know that every Sunday, we would clean the entire unit, but i just didn't want to get out of bed. I was awake all night, mostly because of Ryan's loud screaming, but also because i couldn't seem to shut my mind long enough to find sleep, at all.

"Come on, Frank! We gotta clean this room. Damn, it's a mess." he jumps out of bed, and begins to pick up his mountain of clothes that he always leaves next to his bed. I grab some clothes and walk into the bathroom, wanting to take a shower, not wanting to talk to anybody today at all. 

I lock myself into the bathroom, turning on the shower. I sit in the stall, huddled under the water, for what felt like 2 hours, until someone banged on the door. 

"Dude, you've been in there for an hour, you can't hide forever" It wasn't Ryan, so i turned off the shower, and put a towel around my waist, opening the door.

Dallon sat in the doorway, looking down at me. " Are you okay, Frank? You look like hell." I laugh grabbing my clothes.

"Thanks, you sure know how to make someone feel better." i sigh and walk past him, to my room.

"You never tell me anything, Frank." he yells behind me, but i just keep walking, cause i could care less, right now. I just want to do what i need to do today, and go to sleep. 

_______________________

"Ryan, you can't put your clothes under your bed, you have a closet for a reason-" i grab my folded clothes and place them in my closet, as i continue to argue with the idiot that doesn't even know what to use a closet for.

" Hey, don't yell at me, it took you, like, 3 hours to even start cleaning, it's fine." he kicks his clothes under his bed, covering them with a sheet. After i did what i promised to do, i laid down on my bed, in defeat, ready to fall bag into the darkness I had so much comfort in. 

With everything going crazy with Gerard and my life, i just can't deal with it all right now, i just want to go back to the peaceful, quiet dreams i had of him, and if i was lucky, of both him and Mikey.

Mountains, so many snow covered mountains. I would come out everyday, to hear this peaceful quietness, if i could. i watch my breath come out of my mouth, like smoke from a cigarette. 

"Frank" Gerard says behind me, grabbing my attention, i turn to meet his gaze. I look into his bright hazel eyes, gleaming in the bright winter light. 

"Gerard" i smile walking to him, grabbing his hands. He smiles and looks down at them.

"Jesus, Frankie, you're going to get frostbite, your hands are freezing." he wraps his hands around mine, instantly warming them. I laugh, wrapping my arms around his neck staring at him, smiling, like an idiot, feeling my cheeks turn into a pink mess.

" You're so beautiful, when your lost, you know" he laughs leaning in closer.

"Shut up.." i say quietly, wanting his lips on mine, needing it. Needing him.

"As you wish" he kissed me instantly. I felt all of my body, turn completely hot. As if, i was an ice cube, and yet I'd feel completely warm. 

"Ew, not today" we heard Mikey yell behind us, but before we could react , he throws a large snowball in our direction, hitting Gerard in the  face.

"Ha- eh Gerard you okay?" i laugh, also concerned if he just swallowed an ice ball.

He chuckles under his breath "oh you think this is funny, huh?" he surprises me, grabbing me by the thighs, pushing me down, making us go flailing down the steep hill. We laugh frantically, all the way down to the bottom. He pulls me up, giggling as he points at Mikey. We pick up small piles of snow, molding them, he stares at me with a smile drawn on across his face, I'm in a laughing fit, realizing how happy and serious he was at the same time.

" Ready, Frankie?" i nod, so we immediately ran to Mikey, piling him with snow, watching him fight back. We throw snow and laugh at eachother, for what felt like hours. We played till we were too cold and tired to continue. We laid on the ground next to eachother, me holding Gerard's hand, laughing at the stories they were explaining to me. For a split second i felt something, then it hit me all at once. I stare at the two teenage boys laughing at one another, with pink splotched on both of their faces, and i think of the feeling that I'm in and realize that I haven't felt it in a while, or ever thought I would again. 

I was happy.

Ryan kicks my bed, trying to get my attention. 

"Hey! dude what is up with you? you're always stuck in the clouds somewhere, or talking to nobody, its creepy..whats-..whats wrong with you?" he yells with anger and a slight bit of terror with his hands shaking and his mumbled speech.

I look at the ceiling, my arms crossed under my head, trying my hardest not to break, like i've come use to doing. I stare at Ryan, a weak smile painted across my face.

"Alot"