Short Of a Breath

|Chapter 19|

"what is so important for you to talk to me about. I'm tired"
"That's not my fault, I know what you did last night."
I blushed, looking down. I knew he didn't exactly know what really happened, but I did and of course I feel a girly inside.
"Listen, Frank. I know you don't want to talk about either of them because of the things that happened, and that's cool, but this shit isn't normal"
He looked at me with concern and I was a little amused.
"Well, yeah, this isn't normal. Look where we were."
He sighed, pushing his hand through his bright red hair.
"Frank, their both dead. We've both realized this..it's just...don't you wonder how we see them?"
The dead card was pulled on me once again, and it was as if he cut open a healing wound. I can't stand to hear those words anymore.
"Party, I don't want to-" he put his hand on my mouth before I could finish.
"I know, but we have to accept it. Nothing's going to bring them back."
Thank you for this, I appreciate it, really.
"Frank..what of we can see ghosts? Their both gone so, doesn't it make sense?"
I did understand what he meant but i couldn't believe it. If Gerard was a ghost then...how could he touch me, or be there as a person? It just doesn't make sense.
"I know what you're thinking. How can they touch things, right? Well get this. I've been researching this for 3 years. So there are tons of different ghosts and forms of spirits."
"And you believe in it all?" I laughed
"You believed that Gerard was alive, didn't you?"
It would've been less painful being stabbed in the back than hearing that. I didn't say anything, only gripped my wrist, staring at the ground.
"As I was saying. There's one that caught my eye. Poltergeist."
"Like the movie?"
"Sort of. The actual meaning typically is a ghost or other supernatural being supposedly responsible for physical disturbances such as loud noises and objects thrown around. Now you can feel Gerard touching you right? And the same with Mike's so it makes sense doesn't it?"
"Party, that would mean their both from, the after life" I air quoted. Last thing I believed in, was god or a higher power, forcing us to think if we did good in life we'd make it to heaven. Ha.
I can barely believe in myself.
"Exactly. What if that's it?"
I laugh, feeling a bit annoyed that he's not seeing it.
"Party. Gerard was crying on how much he misses Mikey. I get you didn't really know them like I did, so let me spell it out for you, since it's so easy for you to fuck with my emotions. Gerard and Mikey are dead. But they aren't together. They can't be. Do you ever hear Mikey talking about Gerard and being happy about it?"
He didn't say anything, he just stared at me, sorrow all over his face.
"No, he doesn't"
I wanted to switch the subject, to ask him what Mikey really did with him. Knowing that Party knew a lot about me and Gerard, unfortunately. It made me want to know.
Was he really talking to him? Was he telling me the truth?
If Gerard really believed him, he'd have to be.
"Party..how many times do you usually..you know, see him?" He looks up at me, cracking a small smile.
"Usually when im depressed, which happens alot more often, now." He let out
I didn't really know what to say. I got it, really. I feel like shit most of the time, too.
"I'm guessing you're wondering if he ever talks about you, right? Well he does sometimes. I could say something like, stars or night, and he could go on and on about how much you loved the sky at night. It was nice to see him happy for a while, so it never bothered me."
It made me joyful, knowing that he still remembers me.
I miss him, alot. Both of them.
It gets harder and harder.
"I don't think...I can do this anymore, frank. All of this is bullshit."
I looked up at him
"What do you-"
"I can't keep living like this, I didn't ask for any of this. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be...this" he gestured to himself and I felt anger spark inside of me.
"This isn't Mikey's fault, Part-"
"Oh really? Well, let me tell you something, Iero, I was fine with my life until he started popping into my dreams, then my life."
I stood up, walking towards him
"How could you say that! He's been there for you, Party! He can't even see his own brother! Can't you see how lucky-"
"I was disowned and was put In and institute for almost 6 years because of this frank! Because of him! Because no one fucking believed me!" He barked up at me.
"Why would!-"
"He's right"
In that moment I stopped speaking instantly.
I've never  turned my head so fast. My eyes land on the boy with thick black glasses and light brown hair. The boy I haven't seen in about 6 years.
Tears start to prick my eyes instantly.
"M-mikey?" He puts his hands In his black jacket, shining a smile at me.
"Hello, Frank"