Short Of a Breath

|Chapter 12|

It's been almost 2 weeks since I've seen Gerard.
I have to admit it was complete hell. I missed him so much, yet I drove him away.
It's hard to forget someone who gave you so much to remember.
No Frank. He's dead. You have an illness...it's you.
I tried my hardest to forget ever seeing Gerard after his death. It was impossible.
I just don't understand.
I could feel him, taste him. I remember our first kiss.
After he died.
Maybe I am crazy.
"Frank, it's time for group." Ryan walks in the room tugging on my hoodie. I look up from the picture of Gerard ive been staring at for a while.
He looked uneasy, then smiled.
"You miss him, don't you?"
"How did you?-.." he snorted
"I'm not the only one who cries in their sleep, Frank. Trust me."
I sat there as he walked out of the room, waiting five minutes before following into the living room.
Only 6 boys were here now, including me.
Pete, Josh, and two others had either gone home or were moved somewhere more 'safe'
When Josh had told Tyler that he was leaving, at lunch, four days ago, Tyler broke. He swiped his tray on the floor, and started to sob.
I sat there and just watched, as he was being mentally torn to pieces.
I understood that feeling very well.
After Josh had packed his things and walked into the living room, he looked at Tyler and went straight towards him.
Everyone thought he was going to kill him because of the disaster he made in the cafe but he surprised us all by grabbing Tyler by the back of his head and pressing his lips to his.
I thought it was fantastic.
He wanted him to feel safe.
Just like...-
But after that, Tyler was even more quiet, not talking to me, Ryan, or Dallon.
"Ah, good Frank, thank you for joining us. Please sit next to Tyler" Derek moves his way in the middle of us.
" Before we begin this activity, I'm pleased to tell you all, that you've all made it to level 3, which means we can now go outside everyday after lunch, sound good?"
Everyone screamed yes except me and Tyler, both completely silent and done with today.
We end up doing a trust activity with each other, doing trust exercises and other corny things that are absolutely useless.
"Lunch, boys!" We all line up quietly, and make our way down to the lunch room. Neither me nor Tyler have made a sound to anyone or to anything at all.
We grab our food and sit at the table, trying not to pay any attention to the girls staring at us.
The girls here were nuts and boy crazy, and I wanted absolutely nothing to do with it.
I stare at Tyler as he slowly eats his sandwich.
He had short brown hair and beautiful hazel like eyes. He had a tattoo on his arm. Two lines going around his wrist. Never asked why, cause sometimes there isn't a reason to things.
I've come to term with that as well.
"Hey, Tyler, you happy we get to go outside?" I mumble, when he   glances up at me.
He didn't say anything. Only nodded, going back to nibbling on his food. Dallon and Ryan were too up Bob and Patrick's ass about something, that me and Tyler were basically alone. Might as well take it for granted.
I was about to ask Tyler how he had slept last night, when I saw a small reddish pink line going down his under wrist, as he lifted his fork. I knew then, how much he hated his life.
Just as I did mine.
I had to know for sure.
"Hey Tyler, high five!" I smile at him holding out my hand. He didn't say anything, just raised his hand to mine, and then as he did, I saw even more fresh looking scars going down his arm. I grab his arm, a little too tight, and he winces. I narrow my eyes.
"Why did you do this, Tyler?" He looked really scared when I had said that, and yanked his arm back.
"F-frank..I'm sor- please don't tell anybody I'll go back to level 2.." tears start going down his face, but no sounds came out.
Tyler was always a quiet soul.
"I won't tell, you're a friend, remember? But why?" Of course I already knew the answer, I just, needed to hear it for some reason.
He looked down at his lap, tears falling to the floor.
"I-i hate it here...my mom couldn't care for me because...of my problems, so she shipped me here, and I was here for almost a year, then..Josh showed up...god, it was like a knife being pulled out of my back...but..n-now that he's gone..I don't know what to do...Frank..I'll never see him again.." he starts to shake, so I move from my seat, and sit next to him, putting my head on his shoulder, trying to comfort him.
"It's okay Tyler, I hate it here too. I miss my freedom"
I didn't just say that to make him feel better, I just really did like being on my own in the world, not having anyone to tell me what to do. In the end, whether I'm caged or not, I'll always feel the same.
"But why can't we?..it's our problems..our lives, our demons. We should have a say.."
He had a good point. I thought for a moment. This place isn't very secure, on the outside as much. So what if..
"What if we can escape?.." I whisper in his ear. He gasps softly and I smile a little.
"Why..h-how?.."
I smirk and begin telling him a plan as it came to my mind.
I explained, When we go outside we'll look for any places to crawl or jump over, and then find a place to keep in mind for Friday, when we'll escape. We'll wear an extra shirt and pants under the ones we'd be wearing and take out our money from our allowance to help us with food, and hopefully a place to stay. And as the day went on, the plan got more complex, and Tyler had agreed.
We're going to get away from here.
I'm going to get away from you, Gerard.
I'll never look back.