JF13
Pregnancy
The next day, I woke up feeling so queasy I immediately go to the bathroom. I am trying so hard to vomit but nothing's coming out, and it made me feel a lot more sickly. I run my fingers through my hair. Damn it! What a great start for this day. I stood straight and went out of the bathroom, and go straight to my room.
"Idiot!" I muttered, I am sitting on the edge of my bed, facing my mirrored cabinet.
I look horrible, this is not good. I'm not allowed to look horrible. I shut my eyes and lie down. I reach or my phone, ngayon ko lang naalala na may tumatawag nga pala sa akin kagabi.
"Great, I'm out of battery!" Sabi ko nang makita kong patay na ang celllphone ko.
Tamad na tamad akong bumangon para I-charge ang magaling kong cellphone. Dumiretso na rin ako ng bathroom para maligo. Para lumamig ang ulo ko, para na rin sana mawala ang lahat ng iniisip ko. I am trying so hard para pagaanin ang loob ko, I am trying so hard para hindi alalahanin ang mga bagay-bagay, but I just can't! And it's so annoying!
I keep on thinking about that two little freaks, Gazer and Amihan. I don't even know why Amihan was apologizing last night, and I can't understand why I am so upset and disappointed with her. All I know is that I let my emotions rule me last night, I couldn't think straight. All I know is that I am hurt, and I wanted to be alone.
But on the other side of my mind, I keep on thinking that I am only overreacting about everything, and I am just being overly concerned over nothing. And I don't really know why I keep on feeling that way. It is so frustrating and confusing at the same time. I just really want to split my head into two. I close my eyes and let the water cascade to my body. I hope this water will wash away all of my of it, all that I am worried about.
I got out of the bathroom and went straight to the kitchen, I don't mind even if I'm just wrapped in my towel, I am alone in this house after all. I am just so glad that they all went home last night, I really cannot deal with them. If they happen to stay over, they'll only make things worse.
Napabuntong hininga ako nang makita ko ang mga cheese na nasa loob ng ref ko, I just wanted to eat some cheese yesterday. But what did I get? A heartache, Ylorah. That's what you get for liking someone like Gazer, no, that's what you get when you like someone.
Getting hurt is normal, but you're not supposed to get used to it, that's not how it works. You have to remember that, self so that you won't have to break down like what you did last night. That's very unlike you, do you get that, self?!
Nilapag ko lang saglit ang cheese sa lamesa at saka pumasok na sa loob ng kwarto ko at nagbihis na, maaga pa naman so a quick breakfast won't hurt me, right? Di ko alam kung counted ba as breakfast ang pagkain ng cheese. Pero hindi ko rin naman natapos ang pagkain ko ng cheese dahil nasusuka nanaman ako, so I tried so hard to vomit, but just like before, nothing's coming out. Ilang araw nang ganito ang nararamdaman ko, I keep on feeling dizzy, nauseous, and I keep on craving cheese. This is weird, I don't really like cheese or the only dairy product that I like is milk and yogurt.
"Oh gosh! That sounds like I have symptoms of a pregnant lady." I said almost laughing at the thought. "Pregnant." And I laugh. And then it dawned on me. "Oh my gosh. OH MY GOSH! OH MY GOSH! Don't tell me I am?!" Hysterical kong sabi. Ginulo ko ang buhok ko at agad na pumasok ng kwarto ko para kunin ang cellphone ko.
"Oh my gosh! No! This can't be happening to me!" Sigaw ko habang hinihintay ang pag-bukas ng cellphone ko. Pinilit kong huminga ng maayos pero hindi eh, masyadong mabilis ang pag hinga ko dahil sa naisip ko. No, I can't be pregnant!
