• mermaid
Me:
— Sooooo it says here, to meet the merman and for him to grant you 3 wishes you must sing this song beneath the waterfall of wishes, wear a blue swimsuit, and bring a box of tampons... uh well, I'm wearing and brought all the shit so here we go.
HARRY FUCKING STYLES
THE DOPE ASS MAN
HE GOT NO DICK
BUT HE STILL A MAN
WHITE AS FUCK
BUT HIS SKIN STILL TAN
DUN DUN DUN
STYLES THE MERMAN
That's the most stupidest song I've ever-
Harry:
— Sup bitches, Harry the merman in the house... or well, beneath the falls. What does the heart desire?
Me:
— Well fuck me, you are real. And I just thought mermaids were full of shit
Harry:
— HA! Believe me, those fucking females down there are so fucking annoying. Can't stop blabbering about the latest despashito song, LIKE PLEASE SHUT THE FUCK UP TAYLOR, NO ONE GIVES TWO SHITS ABOJT RHE PUBES RN. And your wishes were princess?
Me:
— shit on me, I've never been called such things before. Let alone by a merman... well, you seem like an interesting fella, want to be human?
Harry:
— Human? It's been my all time fucking dream, thicc ass legs, dazzling toes, and a long 50 inch cock!
Me:
— Harry that's not nor-
Harry:
— and fake ass bitches thought that mermaids weren't normal, well bitchy guess what? My hotass is here alive and well. But if you do want me human, like I BEG OF YOU TOO, Make that your last wish so you could at least grant your other two.
Me:
— fine by me..
Harry:
— and for you wish?
Me:
— I wish for a monster sized dildo to choke my gym teacher with for making me run twenty laps for buying him a taco, like I was just being nice. And there he goes making my ass run, I HAD TO HOLD THE BAG OF TACOS WHILE RUNNING. Well of course, I had to take breaks and eat the tacos. Meat, lettuce, cheese-
Harry:
— first things first when I become human, run away from you.
Me:
— HA, you wouldn't know two shits about walking. You'd need my help one way or another
Harry:
— dammit
Me:
— :)
