• Pool boy
Me:
— SIR, SIR, EXCUSE ME SIR. MR HARRY SIR. BITCH CANT YOU SEE THAT MY ASS IS FUCKING DROWNING, COME OVER HERE AND SAVE YOUR QUEEN.
Harry:
— Ugh, in a minute baby I'm working.
Me:
— Yes, working. Isn't it your job to save people that are drowning? WELL COME OVER HERE AND SAVE ME
Harry:
— Faith, you and I both know that you aren't drowning
Me:
— Ha! Is that so, come on over here and prove it then
Harry:
— for fucks sake Faith, stand up! You're in the kiddy pool, it's three feet deep!
Me:
— yeah so?! I'm 5'1, I'm short as fuck while you're tall as fuck. Now get your Edward Cullen ass over here and save me.
Harry:
— Dios mio, fine.
Me:
— he he he
Harry:
— *jumps in kiddy pool* Happy now, I'm here. What did you really want?
Me:
— HELP, HELP! THERES A STRANGER SWIMMING NEXT TO ME. HES TOO CLOSE, CALL THE COPS, ANYONE. STRANGER FUCKJNG DANGER JM FIVE YEARS OLD. HE MIGJT TOUCH MY NO NO SWUARE, HE MIGJT TEACH ME ABOJT SEX AND DRUGS, SAVE ME!!!! HIS EYES ARE BURNJNG THROUGH MY SOUUULLLLLL
Harry:
— Baby, you pulled that stunt three days ago. The cops actually showed up as well as your parents, it's not gonna happen-
Cops:
— Freeze motherfucker, hands where we can see them
Me:
— BWAHA, works every time. See you at home bubby
Harry:
— I'm in love with an idiot smh. Hey, I can explain-
Cops:
— Tell it to the judge
