• Butler
Harry:
— I'm done!
Me:
— ?????
Harry:
— I'm done working for you, I'm done cleaning up your shit, doing your laundry, baking you food, your money, your house, having to put up with your hugs-
Me:
— my hugs are great tf you mean!
Harry:
— DONE, IM DONE!
Me:
— Okay now why are you done?
Harry:
— because! You cheated on me !!!
Me:
— say what now?
Harry:
— I heard you on the phone with the butler institution, you said that you were going to get a new one! YOU WERE GOING TO REPLACE ME WITH A SEXIER, COOLER AND MORE HIP BUTLER!!! , SO I MADE IT MY DUTY TO QUIT SO I WOULDNT HAVE TO SUFFER WITH THE PAIN.
Me:
— you poor baby, cmon over here.
Harry:
— no
Me:
— Pls?
Harry:
— nope
Me:
— Cmon bub
Harry:
— fuck ok
Me:
— I wasn't going to fire you yknow, I was just simply looking at who was available for my aunt. Remember when I told you how she was stripper
Harry:
— yeah...
Me:
— well, she got fired bc her tits were getting to saggy and the Botox wasn't helping.
And well, she misses dick. So I thought maybe a butler could help satisfy her needs. See! I wasn't going to fire you
Harry:
— phew, thank the lord. I like working for you. You're the only one who actually pays me
Me:
— ugh you poor soul, just imagining the weird shit they did to you.
