Purity (Needs to be edited, ON HOLD)

Chapter 29

A.N

UGHHHH SCHOOL

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

IN LITERALLY LESS THEN 12 HOURS I WILL BE GETTING UP AND READY FOR SCHOOL

FUCK THIS

FUCK LIFE.

NO ONE WANTS SCHOOL

IM NOT READY

SUMMER DID NOT EVEN HAPPEN YET

I DON'T APPROVE...

so I already basically barely update that's probably gonna get worse with school.. Sorry.

My first semester isn't that bad. It's pretty easy but still it's grade 11 and I gotta focus. Plus I'm getting a part time job and if my mom starts to see ,e slacking then she will make me quit, so I have to focus on both.

But I will update whenever I can.

The middle of the night. Lunch if I have time and weekends for sure.

Thanks for understanding. HERE'S AN UPDATE BEFORE I ENTER HELL TMR😭😭😭😭

Spencer

1 year later

The past 9 months have been great,

Toby has been supportive, along with my friends, my mom and Melissa.

Toby's family has been extremely distant from him, even more so then usual, they are disgusted about what happened and ashamed that I let it go one.

Jenna and Cassidy are the only supportive ones.

Melissa is still friends with the girls but not as ,ugh as they use to be.

I obviously had to quit school. Which was hard for me. It still is. Hearing my friends talk about struggles and stuff.

School was my thing, I've always loved it and now I can't be in it. It's hard.

But my friends include me in things, and I help them out with my knowledge.

Recently my mom talked to the headmaster who happens to be my dads friend and got him to let me do everything online.

When it comes to tests a teacher comes to make sure I'm not cheating. So it sort of works out, but it's still not the same, but at least I'm caught up.

The kids are completely adorable and have grown so much since the first day I held them.

It's been great......well until month 9 hit.

Toby did it again, became distant, stayed out late, comes home late, eats and went to sleep and repeat.

He hasn't payed much mind to me and his kids and I hate it.

It's been like this for over 3 months and I can't stand it.

He promised. He promised me and broke his promise again.

"I told you" my mind tells me

I know. My head is smart, but my heart it just wanted to believe that he could change.

But he obviously couldn't

I'm tired of fighting, I'm tired of just listening to my heart and pushing the thoughts that come to mind away.

I love him, but it's as if he doesn't.

Every Time I think about leaving my heart tells me no.

I'm currently in the kitchen cleaning up after the mess I made last night.

I turn on the radio.

"Next is 'Leave my heart out of this' by Fifth Harmony"

(A,n listen if u haven't it's great.... If u don't want to just listen up to 1:25 for the story.., thanks)

As it starts I pay attention to the lyrics realizing that I'm the same way

The chorus comes again and I google the lyrics to keep up.

I tell my heart to just bud out, keep its opinions to its self, I should just listen to my head cause it's the one who knows what's best. It tells me not to love you, but my heart says just forgive you, oh but it's not thinking clearly, I wish that I could leave my heart out of this, leave my heart out of this. Sometimes I wish you'd  just shut up, and let me think, I've had enough I need to just make up my mind, make up my mind.

I've never related to lyrics so much in my life.

This power fills my bones.

I quickly cleaned up and headed upstairs packing all my stuff along with the kids stuff.

I text Melissa telling her to call me when she can.

It's time to take a stand.

I'm not the type of girl who sits around waiting for the guy to realize he loves her.

I'm worth being loved, I show my love and if it can't be shown back to me, then I'm gone.

It was good while it lasted but it's not meant to be.

I deserve more and so do my kids.

I get everything packed in my van and head back to my moms.

I don't know where I'm going to go, but I'm ready to start again, better.