Chapter 34

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Spencer

"I love Hanna what more do you want?" He yells at me and my heart shatters. My face drops and I am hit with jealousy and pain.

"You can have her to yourself. I hate you!" I yell as I throw a rock at him and walk away, tears spilling.

I start to stumble home, knowing I can't drive,

"I love Hanna what more do you want?" that line repeats in my head. His voice yelling.

"I wan't you to love me. I want to be with you. I want you to follow me and make sure I'm safe. I want you to hold me and take care of me. I want you Toby" I sob on my walk, probably looking like a maniac to anyone looking but I couldn't care less.

My heart was shattered into a million pieces. Okay yes I left him, and I ignored him for years, but if he really loved me he would've came down and talked to me in person. He had ny adress from Cassidy in order to send me letter. He would've told me about Hanna if he ever cared. But he didn't, cause he never cared. He left me before I left him.

He used me, he just wanted the innocent virgin girl.

I will never forgive him for this.

"Screw you heart! For all these feelings! He hates you! He's never loved you! He used you! He used you to get to the logic side of me to make both of us forget and ignore the fact that he killed Jason. He used the love card on me. He never loved me. He confirmed that today. And here you are still wishing he came here in his car with a jacket to talk to me and make things right. STUPID! STUPID!STUPID!" I yell cry, tears making it impossible to see.

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45 minutes later

Some how I ended up home.

I walk inside to find all the lights off, everyone asleep.

I head into the barn and lay in bed, realizing I have Hanna's clothes on.

"I hate you" I yell into the mirror, seeing Hanna smirking back at me.

I discard her clothes, wanting to light them on fire, but also wanting to throw them into Toby's face Tomorrow.

I put on my puffy pjs and lay in bed. Plugging in my phone.

My eyes puffy as I continue to let out tears, sobbing quietly.

My phone turns on to see many miss calls from Toby, Hanna and the girls.

I roll my eyes and drag my body to the wine rack. Grabbing a bottle of wine, and 4 beers.

Heading back to my room to drown my sorrows.

I went from wasted to alcohol drowned in less then a half hour.

The next morning

I feel like shit as i wake up.

I lay there, the emotions from last night filling me.

I slowly get up and shower realizing my car is at Cassidy's house.

I get ready and walk over to the house, passing by Toby and Hanna's house.

I walk into the backyard and whip Hanna's clothes at him.

"Tell her she can keep my clothes. I don't want them back" i spit as i walk away.

"Spence wait!" he calls but i keep walking.

He catches up. Runs in front of me and holds my shoulders holding me still.

I look away from him.

"are you okay?" he asks and i laugh, right in his face

"Sorry. Bad word choice" He apologizes and i roll my eyes "i'm sorry" he says, referring to what happened last night and my over make-uped face hiding my over red and puffy face.

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