Purity (Needs to be edited, ON HOLD)

Chapter 30

4 hours later

"I know. I'm going to miss you all too. But i need to do this" i say through my tears as i stand in my parents drive way saying goodbye to Cassidy, Emma, Lucy, Cassandra, Alison, Jenna, along with my sister Melissa and my parents.

"This isn't goodbye. This is... See you later" Alison nods, trying to stop her tears

"I agree" i add.

We all huddle in a group hug.

I told them all about how i am feeling.

My father thought it was stupid to move after all i've spent on the apartment and being a new mother, but i've got the pattern down and i need to do this.

After a long goodbye the kids, who are now 1, and I hit the road.

I make a quick pit stop at the brew, grabbing 2 coffees and snacks for this long ride.

The brew is the coffee shop the girls and i always hang out at after school.

I've decided to start over in D.C.

It's not too far from here but far enough for me.

I'll still be able.to see my friends it's all great.

I lock the car doors and run inside quickly. Not wanting to take the kids out only.to put them in their seats again. Plus they fell asleep.

I head inside and get things to last us this 4 hour and 35 minutes long car ride.

I'm about to walk out when he calls me.

I turn around to be met with his tear stained cheeks, messy appearance and red eyes.

"You're still here" he says in shock

"Not for long" i mumble

"Spence, please don't do this" he begs

"I didn't do anything. You did this all on your own" i remind him

"I know. i'm sorry p-"

"No, stop. You can't just do whatever and then apologize when you realize i don't like it and then do it again later. You tear me down. You make me feel unwanted, stupid, unneeded. It's hard man it's hard enough with my thoughts, with the messages i get on my social media, but your love got me by, but i don't even have that anymorr" i sigh, tears burning my cheeks as they fall

"You do Spencex i-"

"No i did, that was before, it's different now. You don't know how bad right now i just want to believe you run into your arms and say everything is going to be different, but That's my hearts reality, not the real reality. I have to do this. I deserve better and so do our kids" i say before turning to walk out.

"Spencer please! Please don't do this. please don't leave. Don't leave me." he cries, holding my arm so i don't walk away.

I've never seen him.this way, he looms empty, lost, broken, confused.

The same way i feel.

He looks so sincere that he knows he messed up, but i can't take the chance.

I'm to young to go through this.

My heart breaks to do this, but if i stay and it happens again i'll regret this.

Tears rub down my cheeks as i say goodbye to my first love. The man who corrupted me and made me see the light in darker people.

The man who was my first in many areas.

The man that my kids call father.

And the man that i hoped i'd marry when the time was right.

"I'm sorry Toby. But i have to" i cry.

We are now in front of each other, looking into each others tear filled eyes.

"No you don't. Spencer, please don't leave me. I need you" he cries, resting his forehead on mine.

"I need you too Toby but i also really need to do this"

"C-can i say anything to change your mind?' he asks, looking into my eyes with hope.

I shake my head lightly, as it's still resting on his.

"My mind is made up, im sorry" i say, the tears still falling.

I lift up his chin "hey, you are still an amazing guy. I love you. I always will love you. It was perfect while it lasted but it got hard. I agree we are really young for this. We need to live our lives. Thank you for everything you've done. I love you more then words can say. But this has to be done" i tell him before pressing my lips to his.

He kisses back knowing this is the last kiss.

After a bit i pull away knowing if i continue to kiss him i wouldn't leave.

"Goodbye Toby" i say, tears still rolling as i open the door.

"G-goodbye Spencer" he sobs.

The door closes and my heart breaks.

I get into my car and let all my emotions out.

Trust me  i want to be with him, but i can't live like this.

And he's young he should get to live his life.

And now he doesn't have to stress about being a young Father.

I collect myself a bit and start driving. Heading off with my sleepy kids to start our new life.

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A.N

AHHH SPOBY GOODBYE😭😭😭😭😭😭

Also i gotta get up in 1 hour to get ready for school.(it's 5:38 rn)

Kill me😭😭