Crossing the Lines

Ch. 31 ~ Alex

Ch. 31

Alex

~~~~UNEDITED~~~~

Throwing parties has come as a second nature to me. It’s the ecstatic feeling that rushes through your body as people start flooding through the door.

The hardest part was picking out what to wear. My black and white striped dress wasn’t too formal, but proper.

My door swung open causing me to nearly jump out of my skin. “Oh, that’s a really cute dress! Mason will love it!” Her eyes quickly glanced around my room and stopped at my closet. Amanda slowly approached the door, her hand paused right in front of the door knob.

“Go for it.” Before I even finished my sentence, the door was open and Amanda’s eyes bulged. A small gasp escaped her lips right before she took a step in, lost in the wonders of my walk in closet

I had ignored her comment about Mason; she didn’t need to know. At least not before he did. He probably already had a clue that I was irritated with him when I didn’t respond to his “good morning” text today.

When Amanda walked out of my closet, she was holding three pairs of shoes and had multiple different articles of clothing slung across her shoulders. “I think these shoes will go well with that dress,” Amanda said absentmindedly as she held the dresses up to her and oogled at each one.

Truthfully, I didn’t pay much attention to what Amanda was saying. I had bigger plans to worry about, like my revenge on Mason.

…

People I didn’t even know were flooding through my front door. I was slightly worried that my last minute decision would have been a problem, but I guess not.

Much to my surprise, the whole football team showed up. It seemed so cliche to be the pretty girl dating the quarterback and having the football team show up at my house. I guess I never realized just how much I hate cliches.

The party was in full swing. Some songs we would dance to the blaring radio in the living room, but I didn’t stay for more than a song at a time because Mason could find me. You could say that avoiding him wasn’t the right thing, but I don’t know what I’d do to him, what I’d say to him.

It must have been the dark, star sprinkled sky that allured me to the back porch. Surprisingly, practically no one was out there. It was just me and the twinkling stars.

Isolating myself had given me time to think. I had been hurt by Mason; he had played with my emotions like no one has ever done before. I played guys, they didn’t play me. A wet drop dripped down my cheek, making me aware that I was on the brink of tears.

So this is what it feels like to be played. After all these years of acting carelessly, I had finally received the karma that long awaited me.

“What’s a pretty girl like you doing all alone out here?” Sean walked up beside me, resting his hand on my shoulder. His dirty blonde hair lay messily on his head and his black shirt clung nicely to his body.

My silence pushed Sean to talk further, “Would you like a drink?” under the stars, his eyes sparkled, almost as if I was looking at Mason.

“Sure,” I mumbled quietly.

“Oh, and Mason’s looking for you.” He said as he walked off. Great. Just what I wanted to hear.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were avoiding me.” Mason’s sultry voice came from behind. Instantly, as if it was a chain reaction, my muscles tensed.

“Guess you don’t know as much as you thought.” I just couldn’t shake the image of Natalie and Mason which had become imprinted in my brain.

The harshness of my comment stunned him slightly, but there was a new softness when he spoke. “Look, I’m sorry about dinner and the hospital. I was just being stupid--I don’t--I don’t know why.”

“Do you really think that’s why I’m this mad? Do you really think it was about that? Well it isn’t. Maybe you should think twice before inviting someone into your bed. Someone who isn’t your girlfriend maybe?” My eyes were cold as they met his. As soon as I saw his hurt filled eyes, I had to look away. There was no way I could go through with this if I didn’t.

“Alex, Alex wait!” He reached out for me but I kept walking. He couldn’t see the tears in my eyes. “It wasn’t like that Alex I promise!”

“I wish I could.” My sorrow poured out of me and I shivered as I walked away. My heart had just officially been broken.

Thankfully, I ducked into the nearest bedroom without anyone noticing the tears pouring down my face. A large part of me wanted to go back and wrap my arms around Mason, telling him how much I still love him. But I couldn’t put myself through that.

After about a half an hour, there was a small knock on the door. Afraid to answer, I remained silent, part of me hoping that it was Mason and the other part not.

To my surprise, Sean walked in. He wore a lopsided grin that disappeared when he saw my tear stained face. As he walked over to me, he didn’t ask stupid questions like “are you alright?” and “what happened?” Instead, he slowly sat next to me on the bed, his eyes curiously looking me over as if there were words written on me that would spell out my issue.

He wrapped his arm around me, pulling me into his side. It was the last thing that I wanted, but it comforted me in a way that I didn’t think possible. “Mason left the party,” he said quietly. Silent tears were still falling down my face, but he didn’t seem to notice. “He seemed pretty pissed off when he left. Not himself really. Whatever. He was my ride home.” Sean rolled his eyes and it was just now that I could see his intoxication.

“This room is empty for the night. You can’t drive home.” He just giggled beside me, pulling me closer to him.

 I wanted him away. Being close to someone scared me. The feeling of an open gap in my chest, aching every time I breathed.

What the hell is wrong with me?! Since when did I become Bella Swan, sitting in my room sulking because my boyfriend left me? I would never be so pitiful and weak.

Maybe that’s why the alcohol didn’t burn down my throat when I drank it. Maybe that’s why I shut everything out and became consumed by alcohol and oblivion.

They always say that alcohol leads to bad choices. However true, I knew what I was doing. I knew that dancing around with everyone and deep down, I knew I was only pretending to feel ok. I knew that I was drunk out of my mind, yet I still knew that Sean grabbed my hand and took me to the bedroom.

“You’re beautiful,” he mumbled quietly as he shut the door behind me. It was so slurred I almost missed what he was saying. “Mason’s lucky to have had you. But it’s his loss, everyone else’s gain.” Sean continued to mumble on, his blonde hair sticky with sweat.

He grew closer to me, pressing me up against the door. It was a familiar position for me. That day, walking home with Mason. I wished that it was him, ready to kiss me in an empty bedroom. Part of me was ready to pretend, but the other part wasn’t.

“Sean,” I mumbled quietly, surprised that I could still find my voice to speak. His hand moved from the door to my shoulder, slowly moving over to my collar bone. “Sean.” I spoke firmly, temporarily snapping him out of his drunken stupor.

It must have been the look in my eyes and the tears that were slowly filling them. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder, giving it one final squeeze before lying down on the bed. Sean motioned me over, inviting me to cry on his shoulder. Normally, I would have been offended by such a gesture, but the tears were already pouring down my face without me even realizing.

Curling up on the bed, I released the tears that I’d been hiding for a while. Just breaking down and sobbing. God forbid I could get any peace and quiet while Sean lay asleep beside me. Nope. The door opened, a figure looming in the doorway.

Shit! I thought to myself. It was then that I knew I was totally screwed.