g r a c e
I follow Louis inside the house, and watch as he immediately walks upstairs. I know well enough from the amount of times that I've been here to know exactly what he's doing, so I wait downstairs, looking around at all the photos in the living room.
"It's been a while." A voice says, and I turn around to see Dan. "Sorry if I scared you."
"It's fine, don't worry about it." I say, giving him a hug. "How are you doing? I know that the next few months aren't he easiest."
"No, they're not. Her time at this point in the year was getting shorter, and although none of us wanted it to happen, we knew that it had to. She was tired. It's been eight years and believe me, it does not get any easier, no matter what everyone says." I frown and we take a seat on the couch.
"How have the twins been doing? Do they know yet?" I know that for a while, Dan didn't want to tell the twins what had happened to their mother, even when they asked where she was. He said that it was too hard, and they would have too many questions.
"They know that their mommy is an angel who watches over them. In all honesty, I would prefer to keep it that way. I want them to remember the short time they had with her in a good way, that she was always happy. I don't want them to have memories of her being sick." I nod, understanding. "Anyway, how are your two?"
"They're doing good, definitely developing quite the attitudes." I laugh softly. "Nine year olds can be pretty sassy, especially with who their father is."
"I'm sure. I've had quite the share of sassy attitudes around here, the twins especially."
"We'll have to bring the kids with us sometime so they can finally meet their cousins."
"Definitely. I'm sure they'd get along well, they're only a few years apart."
"Especially the girls, I think they'd really bond well." I say, and hear laughter coming from upstairs. "I'm guessing they're awake now."
"They love when he comes home, he really brings out the best in them. It makes me happy when he comes too, not only because I get to see him, but because they stop asking when Louis will be here." I smile at Dan's words. I love how close their family is, it makes me wish that I was as close to my siblings as the Tomlinsons and Deakins are with each other. The only one I ever had a real relationship with was Lexi.
"So, just out of curiosity." Dan says quietly, turning to me. "Do you and Louis plan on having any more?"
"We're trying, but I'm not having as much luck this time around. It was a surprise last time, so now I'm hoping for a miracle." He nods, reaching for a mug from the table next to the couch. "What about you? Would you ever like more?"
"Would I like more? Definitely. But now that Johannah isn't around anymore, I don't know that it'll ever happen. I loved her, so much, and I know that I could never replace her. I mean, it's been nine since she's been gone, and eleven since I became a father. If I had anymore, the twins would be so much older than them, and they couldn't really have that sibling relationship that I'd want them to have."
"First of all, you never have to replace her. You can love another person, I know that she would be totally fine with it. Moving on is good, it'll help you finally stop grieving. You need to get out and do things, meet some new people. And so what if the twins would be quite a bit older than them? That doesn't mean that they can't have a close relationship." He nods slowly, taking a sip from his mug.
"I guess, it's just that I know how hard it'll be, especially for someone with kids that's a widower, to find someone else. And what about the twins?"
"They'll be fine with it, trust me." He sighs and I look up as I hear Louis come downstairs with his sister on his back, and brother not far behind him.
"She won't get off." He laughs, trying to shake her off his back.
"Good luck, she's strong." Dan says. I smile as I watch him play with his younger siblings. I've always loved how good he is with kids, there's always a smile on their faces.
"A little help would be nice!" Louis shouts as his brother climbs onto his back to join his sister.
"Should I climb on too?" I ask, smirking.
"I can barely handle two people, I don't need a third!" He says and I get up to pull the kids from his back. "Thank you, I thought my back was about to break."
"Wouldn't want that, that means we'd have to take a trip to the hospital and I don't like hospital food."
"So glad to know that the only thing you're concerned about is the food that you'd be eating."
I laugh and give him a quick kiss. "I love you."
"Sure." He says, playfully rolling his eyes. He and I both know that I would do anything for him, including eating nasty hospital food.
