G r a c e
I set my phone down on the seat next to me, covering my face with my hands. I've been nothing but stressed for the past month, and this just had to happen. Not that it's anything I can control, and I would've never wanted it to happen, but it would be much easier to deal with if I wasn't extremely stressed right now.
I take a few deep breaths and pick my phone up again, dialing Louis' number. Surprisingly, he answers almost immediately. "Hey, how long until you'll be home?" I ask, not even bothering with a friendly greeting. I'm definitely not in the mood for that.
"About a minute or two. I had to stop for gas after work, I'm leaving now. Is something wrong?"
"We'll talk when you get home."
"Alright, I love you."
"Love you too." I say, hanging up the phone. Feeling numb, I stare at the wall, not knowing how to feel or how to react.
"Grace!" Louis calls, waving his hand in front of my face. "Are you alright?"
"In all honesty, I'm not sure."
"Wanna talk?" He asks, sitting down beside me on the couch. I nod slowly, trying to decide if I should be blunt by coming right out and saying it, or go into details. After a few moments, I make my decision.
"My mom died."
"What?" Louis seems to be in just as much disbelief as I was not too long ago.
"Ezra called me a little while ago and told me that she died the other night."
"How?" He asks, and I shrug in response. "How are you feeling?"
"I'm not really sure. I mean, I never really had a relationship with her. She was supposed to come over several times, and when she didn't, she didn't bother to let me know that she couldn't come or even why she didn't. I hold so much anger against her for everything she did but at the same time, she's my mother. I'll never get to know her, and she'll never get to know her grandchildren."
"You have a right to be upset with her, no matter what happened. I understand that she's your mother but she also didn't treat you right." I nod, understanding what he's saying. "Did he happen to mention if there's going to be a service?"
"The wake is tonight."
"Wow, alright. Are we going?"
"I don't really have a choice, I'm her daughter. It's up to you if you want to go, but I'm going. I don't want the twins there though." I say, standing up.
"I want to be there for you. And why shouldn't the twins be there?"
"I don't know most of the people that will be there, but I do know that most will be related to her. If they're anything like her, I don't want our children around them?"
"Why?"
"Just trust me on this." I say, walking upstairs to get ready.
••••••••
I look in the mirror, adjusting the earrings that I just put in. My mom had sent them to me years ago, but I haven't worn them yet. I guess now would be a perfect time to.
Louis walks in and stands behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist. "Are you ready?" Is he kidding? I don't think that anyone could be ready for a funeral. It's a goodbye. You never get to see that person again. Out of all the people I know, I would've expected him to know that.
"No." I say, sighing heavily. "I'm never going to be ready for this."
"I know babe, but you have to."
"How did you do it?" I turn around to face him, and receive a confused look. "How did you handle losing your mom?"
"Well, she was sick for a while." He pulls something out of his pocket - a necklace. He puts it around my neck and continues talking. "I knew that once it was all over, she wouldn't be in pain anymore. She didn't have to fight."
I look down at the small heart Louis placed on my neck before returning my eyes to him. "You can do this, I know you can."
"But what if I can't?" I ask, frowning.
"If I can do it, so can you." I nod slowly, taking one last look in the mirror. "Let's go." Louis says, grabbing onto my hand.
//
the holidays were really busy for me, sorry for not updating :(
