G r a c e
"Louis I can't do this." I say, staring at the door to the funeral home.
"You don't have to."
"But I do."
"You don't, you only feel like you do because she gave birth to you. She wasn't there for you in any other way."
"You're right, but that's not why I feel that way." I swallow thickly, looking down at the steering wheel. I need to stare at something besides the funeral home, or I really will leave.
"I feel this way because this isn't the way I want to see her. I never got to meet the woman, or have a relationship with her. I never got the chance to. Now she's gone, and this is how I get to 'meet' her, in a coffin. I'll never get advice from her, my children will never get to meet her, she'll never get to see the life that I've made for myself. She'll never know how happy I've become, after all the shit that I've been through."
"Just because she's gone doesn't mean that she's not around." Louis says, and I instantly feel a wave of guilt hit me.
"I'm so sorry, I've been acting like no one's around and you've always been there for me."
"It's fine, you're grieving. I know exactly what you're going through."
"I know, and that's exactly why I feel bad. I feel like I'm trying to make my situation worse." He shrugs and grabs hold of my hand.
"In a way, it is. I got to grow up with my mum, and we were very close. I was heartbroken when I lost her, but I tried my hardest to keep it together. But don't think for just one second that she doesn't know what's going on right now, because she's always watching."
"At least you had all your siblings around you when you lost your mother, I'm sure the one that I'm close with couldn't even be bothered." I notice him inhale deeply and look out the window before returning his attention to me.
"I figured you'd feel that way." I look over at him, confused, before shifting my gaze to where he was looking. I see Lexi walk around her car and over to mine and before I know it, I'm opening the door and running towards her.
She wraps her arms around me tightly and I bury my face in her shoulder, letting the tears that have been threatening to escape out. "I may never forgive her for what she did to us, but I will always be there for you. Don't ever think that I wouldn't be."
"Thank you so much." I say in between sobs, and pull my face away. She nods slowly, pushing the hair away from my tear stained cheeks.
"Now let's go in there and show that side of the family what they've been missing." She reaches down for my hand and I take a deep breath, looking over at Louis, who is now at my other side. I reach for his hand with my free one and take a step forward.
As we walk inside, everyone's attention goes straight to us. I begin to wonder if they thought that I wouldn't show up. I notice Ezra towards the back of the room and he offers me a small smile, but I don't return it. I have way too much going on in my mind to focus on how fake this family will probably be acting tonight.
