How to Love You

16

October 7

I should've been asleep; fuck, I wish I was asleep. I should've just forced myself to pass out hours ago, so I wouldn't have had to witness such an awful sight.

Except when I heard you fumbling with your keys to unlock the door, around two in the morning, there was a throbbing urge in my head that had to see what had caused you to come home so late. That inevitable temptation would ultimately begin my downfall though.

You stumbled inside, laughing hysterically at nothing, and tripping over your own feet simultaneously. Only being illuminated by the fluorescent light from the television screen, you were wearing a tight fitting cocktail dress and a pair of stiletto heels. Your curly hair was pinned back neatly, and your makeup had been done lightly, with a natural shimmering gloss and a luminous rosy color to your cheeks.

It only took me a few moments for my eyes to adjust to the small man, looped around your arm and escorting you towards our bedroom. I couldn't quite make out his face, not that I even wanted to though; all I knew is that this wasn't like you. Since when would you ever go out, and take home the guy after the first date...unless this wasn't even the first time you've been with him? Now, that I really think about it, you could've been fucking other guys this entire time and I was just too delusional, in my bubble of love for you, to even notice.

I laid on the couch, silently, staring blankly at the ceiling. I was at an exhaustive loss for words; how could you do this to me? Where, in your beautiful little mind, did you think I would be okay with you bringing another man into our bedroom?

My heart was pounding against my chest, and my brain was going cloudy with thoughts of you holding onto that stranger. I was struggling to take in full breaths, as the air around me felt suffocating and dense. I couldn't even begin to fathom what I had just saw, but when I heard your loud giggling from the other room and then the slight banging, I just lost it completely.

Uncontrollable sobs erupted from my mouth, as I was forced to listen to you making love to another man.