How to Love You

8

September 29

It took your entire family, a few doctors, and also, my delicate pleading stare in your direction to convince you that we were roommates and that coming home with me would be your best option for a living position. Your family, who obviously just want the best for you, understood the endless love I felt for you and they knew how devastated I would be living without you. The doctors could also sense the radiating love between us that basically surrounded my aura whenever you were in my presence. Even though you found it absolutely nuts that you were rooming with a man, who was just a friend, you eventually agreed to come home with me anyway.

I couldn't help, but feel joyous as we rode home in my car with that familiar smell of stale french fries and the way your seat would squeak when we went over bumps . It almost felt like old times, until we passed our bowling alley and you mentioned wanting to go there one day. Rather than trying to argue that we fell in love there, I simply nodded and gave you a quick side smile that was harboring loads of sadness underneath.

As we entered our house, you scoped the area entirely, skimming your nimble fingers along every edge and thoroughly examining every crevice, before coming back to confront me.

"Why is there only one bed? Where do I usually sleep?" You asked, as a slight hint of panic filled your face. The quick glance you made at the front door, as if you had to create a sudden escape plan, definitely didn't go unnoticed.

"You sleep in the bed, I sleep on the couch." I lied, gritting through my teeth. You instantly looked calmer about the sleeping arrangements, as you released a heavy breath, so I continued to go along with it, no matter how terrible it felt to lie to you.

You were obviously still uncertain about being near me, but it didn't take long for you to comfortably collapse into our bed and fall asleep peacefully. I would say you made yourself at home, but that seems quite strange to say, considering this was already the place we shared for years.

I wanted to lie next to you, like I always do, and engulf you in my arms, but I knew you would be freaked out if I even touched you.

My heart was slowly breaking over all the temptations I had to resist, now that you only remembered me a friend.