How to Love You

33

October 24th

Do I feel bad after seeing that heart wrenching face you make before you burst into tears? A little.

Was I too harsh with my word choices and the tone of voice I used against you? Of course.

But am I sorry for saying what I said and finally expressing my true emotions? Most definitely not. I'm not trying to be the complete definition of an asshole when I say this, but losing your memory doesn't give you the right to be inconsiderate of everyone else around you. I've been hurting since the accident and these emotions have just been bottled up inside me, urging to spill out, but then again, you didn't seem to give a shit how I felt.

I never try to intentionally make you cry, Dani, you need to understand that, but I had to finally be honest with how I was feeling, instead of constantly ignoring the resentment inside me.

You clearly despised my honesty, because, after nearly spending an entire day locked away, like Rapunzel, you stormed out of the room with fury in your eyes and your fists balled tightly. It was like an upcoming volcanic eruption; you glared into the innermost contents of my soul fully prepared to just explode.

"Hey!" You yelled, even though I was laying a mere three feet away on the couch, "take this piece of shit back, I don't want it, okay?" Although you appeared quite enraged, I sensed your pain through the way your voice subtly cracked as you spoke and the glimmering tears in your eyes. It's crazy how even after the accident there are small signs of your old self; even now, I can tell when you just want to collapse into a big hug and sob.

Before I could even react, you pried the shiny diamond ring off your finger and roughly threw it at my chest without another word. I remained seated, completely dumbfounded at what just occurred and honestly scared to attempt to reason with you.

I began to reminisce on the day I proposed to you, what a great day that could've been.

"Danielle, that was the night where I realized I had fallen in love with you. You were kind, caring, and utterly irresistible..."

"...you showed me a side of life I never thought existed."

"I wouldn't mind waking up to your beautiful face every morning and hearing your adorable laugh for the rest of my life, so what do you say? Will you marry me, Danielle Harper?"

One last question for you, Danielle.

Was I internally hurting at the fact that you just returned the one item that still connected us as a couple? Absolutely.