How to Love You

44

November 17th

Some days, the sadness just becomes too much to handle. It's burrowed so deep inside me, tearing me up internally.

It just hurts so much.

To escape this growing pain, I had to distract myself, I wouldn't be able to get through it otherwise.

Partially tipsy, even though it was only ten in the morning, I marched my raggedy self to a local diner to chow down on some cheap food.

When I entered, the place was nearly empty with the exception of a few customers; an elderly couple sharing a breakfast in a booth, a mother with her two rowdy children, and a family seated relatively close to the entrance of the diner.

Disregarding the couple and children, my eyes focused on the family before me. The father appeared so familiar to me in an old plaid shirt, but I couldn't place my finger on it.

Then, a sudden flashback of the hospital, twinkies, and a car crash filled my mind.

"Tucker." I spoke, and with that, the father, in the midst of buttering a piece of toast, glanced in my direction. Similar to me, his eyes lit up with remembrance, and a slight hint of fear, when he caught sight of me. Even though I appeared much different than how I was a month ago, he still recognized me as the man whose life he ruined.

"Hey, how are you?" He stood up from the table, leaving his family behind and stepping beside me. I couldn't help, but glance over his shoulder at the people he was sitting with.

His wife, who looked confused at the scene taking place, was actually quite beautiful. She had auburn colored hair that came out in slight waves, and an overall caring demeanor. His children, a teenage boy and, I would guess, an eight year old boy were laughing at one another and blowing bubbles in their chocolate milk. The mother, laughing, scolded them briefly, before succumbing and joining their fun. They seemed happy, despite their father figure being a man who caused the destruction of my relationship.

"You have a family." I muttered, my words slurring together.

"Yeah, I do." He replied, pulling me farther aside. He probably figured I would attack his family as revenge, since he was the reason you no longer loved me. I would never do that though; I'm not a monster.

"Why do you deserve a family and I don't? I want to be happy too."

"You can be." He said, placing a hand on my shoulder.

"Look at me! I'm not happy! You made me this way!" I yelled, and immediately, I noticed his wife stand up from the table and approach us.

"Your still young, cmon man. Get yourself together. I made a mistake; one that I'll always feel guilty for, but I learned from it. I don't drink anymore, I worked through issues in my marriage, and I developed a great relationship with my kids. You're at a crossroad, you hit a bump in the road, but you gotta work through it."

"Easy for you to say." I scoffed.

"Easy for me? Are you serious, dude? I hated myself, I drank to get through the day, I wasted so much of my life. Nothing was ever easy for me, but I got myself together. Yeah, it sounds stupid for the man who caused this to tell you to move on, but everything happens for a reason. Just remember that. Now, if you'll excuse me, I would like to enjoy breakfast with my family." He returned to the table, holding his wife's hand and sat back down. I stood by the diner entrance, unsure of what my next move should be.

Do I punch the guy for acting so entitled?

Do I eat breakfast in the diner and just act like this never happened?

Hm...Everything happens for a reason.

How about I stop wallowing in pity and patch up my wounds?