How to Love You

29

October 20

As I was quietly sitting on the couch, going through my daily ritual of blankly staring at the wall and contemplating where my life went so dreadfully wrong, you burst through the front door, holding a slightly crumpled card in your hand.

"Chase, I'm so sorry!" You ran towards the couch and engulfed me in a tight hug, "I was at my family's house with Matt all day and they reminded me that yesterday was your birthday! I can't believe I forgot!" Ha, you can't believe you forgot? Is that seriously the best thing you could come up with after making me spend my entire birthday alone? You made me feel like I should have never been born, and that's all you could come up with? Was I supposed to just feel better after you give me the stupid excuse of 'going to your family's house with Matt'? What a bullshit excuse that was, Danielle, you could've don't better than that.

"Don't worry about it," I replied through gritted teeth, refraining myself from getting upset at you. Hey, at least you had the decency to get me a card, I was grateful for that at the most.

"I got you this, here you go." You handed me the card, to which I just nodded a simple thank you and shot you a small grin. You sat on the couch beside me, placing your hand on my back and gently rubbing it. "Well, aren't you going to look at it?" You asked, gesturing to the card that I haven't bothered to read yet. Truth is, nothing you wrote in this could actually resolve my emotions right now; I understand you lost your memory, so you probably did forget my birthday. Except, I can't comprehend why you didn't call me after your family informed you it was my birthday. Am I so minuscule to your life now that you didn't even have the slightest ounce of generosity to shoot me a text, call me, or even send me a damn email to wish me a happy birthday?

I slowly opened the card, and there was barely any writing on the inside. Scribbled in the blank spot was "happy birthday, Matt!", except you just crossed out Matt's name and wrote mine above it instead. At this point, I couldn't even hold back the inevitable glare I gave you. I take it back; I was so not grateful for this stupid card!

"Did you just give me one of Matt's old birthday cards?" I scoffed, and you just replied with a guilty look.

"I didn't have time to go out and buy you a different card, I'm sorry." You began rubbing my back again, and just the feeling of your touch right now, repulsed me. I stood up from my seat, placed the card down onto the coffee table, and gave you the nicest smile I could muster up right now.

"Thanks for the card, Dani." I spat, and retreated into the bathroom, leaving you with a shocked look on the couch.

Glad you really went out of your way to wish me a happy birthday, you seriously just regifted a card! Whatever, I'm probably just being dramatic, but that anger that's been rising inside me began boiling over the edge, like a simmering pot.