How to Love You

32

October 23

Remember that silly ticking time bomb I was telling you about earlier? Oh, it's bad, it's so bad, Dani, I was really struggling to hold back, but I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't stand one more moment of wearing my happiness as a mask to hide my crumbling life before me. I couldn't stand another second of you basking in your new relationship, while I'm rotting miserably in the dust. I just couldn't take it anymore!

I walked into the kitchen, where you were putting together a messy sandwich and placing it carefully into a lunchbox.

"What are you doing?" I asked, confused as to why you were randomly preparing a lunch on a casual Monday afternoon.

"Matt has work, so I'm packing him a homemade lunch." This really shouldn't have bothered me as much as it did, but oh, that time bomb began loudly ticking in my brain. You used to make me lunch for work, and now, you're giving Matt special treatment, what the hell is up with that? The ticking burning the back of my brain grew incessantly louder at all my racing thoughts.

"Oh, that's nice." I spat back, forcing a smile onto my boiling red face.

Tick!

"Yeah, he just deserves a special lunch for always dealing with me." You lightly laughed, continuing to pack the lunchbox with little treats.

Tick!

"Yeah, he seems like a great guy." I lied, gritting roughly through my teeth and violently biting the inside of my cheeks to hold back any further remarks.

Tick! Tick!

"He's honestly the best!" Don't do it, Chase, just calm down.

Tick! Tick! Tick!

"I'm sure he is!" I replied, my voice raspy as I continued to lie.

Tick! Tick! Tick!

"I really think I love him." Shut up, brain, please just shut up!

Tick! Tick! Tick! Tick!

"Oh ya? Do you now?"

Tick! Tick! Tick! Tick!

"Chase, I think he might be the one."

BOOM! Big. Fucking. Explosion.

"No, he's fucking not, Danielle!" The second the words slipped out, I regretted them, especially after I noticed the pained look on your face, but it's too late to go back now. Once words are out on the tables and true emotions are shown, there's no rewinding time to take back what was spoken.

"Excuse me?" You placed your hand on your heart, your jaw dropping nearly to the floor in awe.

"You heard me! He isn't the one for you! I am, I love you more than he ever will!" You scoffed, your hand still placed on your beating heart; the same heart that used to have endless love for me and also believed in our happy ever after.

"You have no right to say that to me, you don't know him like I do!" You slammed down the knife you were holding on to the kitchen counter, sending a rattling vibration through my body as the knife clanked against shiny marble surface.

"But I know you, Dani, and I know you used to be in love with me instead." You obnoxiously glared straight at my face, not holding back anymore whatsoever.

"That's completely absurd!"

"Is it though? Look at your damn finger, you're still wearing the fucking engagement ring I gave you!" You deeply glared at the ring, now intently examining the shiny piece of jewelry that fit your little finger perfectly.

"What? No, Matt said this was a promise ring." I nearly went ape-shit at this moment, may I add, like full blown gorilla.

"Then, he's a filthy liar!"

"Don't ever talk about him like that, you're the liar! I never loved you, get over it!" And with that, you bolted out of the kitchen in tears and locked yourself in the bedroom.