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October 19

With everything that's been going on recently, I nearly forgot today was my birthday. I'm almost sure I wouldn't have remembered if my mom hadn't called at seven in the morning to loudly wish me a great day, and of course, my dad occasionally chimed in with side comments from the background about what a wise son he raised. My mom expected me to go out with friends and drink away the night while I was still in my twenties, but little did she know, I don't have any other friends, except you, Dani. How fucking pathetic.

I know birthdays are supposed to be big celebrations where you look back at all the amazing memories you had up until this point, but I really wasn't in the mood to party. Plus, you weren't even home when I woke up this morning; you just left a note saying you'll be gone for the day. You left me on my special day of birth!

Part of me was discreetly hoping you were off planning a huge surprise party for me with all my close friends and family, but deep down, I knew you were just on another date with Matt, holding him and kissing him. 

As pathetic as this seems, and trust me, I realize this is pretty damn sad, I went out and bought myself a red velvet cupcake, a singular birthday balloon, and a packet of candles.

Now, sitting on the kitchen counter, with the cupcake placed in front of me and lit up  brightly with a couple candles, I mumbled the classic 'happy birthday' song under my breath. Then, I did the cliche birthday wish, and blew out the candles in one breath.

I would tell you what I wished for, but I think you already know, Dani.

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