Hamilton OneShots

Notice Please... ~ Jeffmads (Trigger Warning)

I am sooooooo fucking sorry. Someone requested Jeffmads with a sub drop and I wrote it down but I lost the paper. I apologize, but you know who you are, just comment please and I promise I'll give you credit in the next one shot. Again I'm so sorry, but I've been really overworked lately and I lost the paper. It's completely my fault for not cleaning my room and keeping it organized and I hope you know that if I remembered your name I would put it down.

Also, I'm at 29 followers and I have a special story for when I hit 30. Maybe a nice long 10,000 word story ಠ‿↼ You never know.... I might need some requests for ideas though. Anyway... Enjoy the story.

James Madison was involved in a BDSM relationship with Thomas Jefferson for about a year now. He had wanted Thomas but he didn't know about this side of him, unfortunately, the only way to get a relationship with him was to be his submissive... Slowly, over time, It had begun to take a toll on his mental health.

Thomas untied him, they had just finished one of their "scenes." Thomas kissed him quickly and cleaned him up. James redressed and decided to head home.

Why? Why couldn't I just ask for a normal relationship? He treats me like a pet and I signed a contract saying he had the right to do so. God I'm such a whore...

James had done this kind of thing before. Fallen in love with someone like Thomas, every time he expected it to be different. But it never was. He was always the submissive, always giving up his body to other people because that was all he knew how to do.

WARNING! THE SONG ALONG WITH THE FOLLOWING STORY MAY CAUSE RAPID TEARS! (Way Too Good at Goodbyes... by Sam Smith.) I cried while writing.

You must think that I'm stupid...

Charles Lee was the first dominant in his life. At first he wasn't used to it, the ropes, the cuffs, the kinky shit. The being dominated. But he got used to it, because he loved Charles and that was the only way to be with him.

You must think that I'm a fool...

James Reynolds was second. He was a lot more rough and aggressive, demanding more from James, constantly pushing him past his limits. Though there were limits set in place, Reynolds just didn't care. James hated the way he was treated, but he was in love. It was like he didn't notice his mental health was decreasing. Thomas was gentle, but it didn't matter. James was already broken.

You must think that I'm new to this... But I have seen this all before.

He hated when Thomas asked him about how he was doing. James hated opening up to people because everyone else would use whatever he said against him. By now, James never shared any secrets, and though Thomas and him had been together for a year, Thomas knew almost nothing about the small male he "loved".

I'm never gonna let you close to me, even though you mean the most to me. Cause every time I open up it hurts...

When James got home, he sat on his couch, staring blankly at the t.v he had turned on. Most days were like this, he liked looking back at his life, looking back at the mistakes and the wrong choices he had made. He hated himself for not talking to Thomas, instead, he had just agreed to being a submissive yet again. He was scared to make others angry, but because of his fear, he had only been hurting himself.

I'm never gonna get too close to you, even when I meant the most to you...

He knew the contract would expire, and he could choose to do it again to be with Thomas... Unless Thomas got tired of him.

In case you go and leave me in the dirt.

By now James was used to the pain, the whips, the punishments. He was used to being Thomas' sex toy. His body had been abused so many times, It's like he was numb to the pain. Well, the physical pain at least. James had a tremendous amount of emotional pain, pain Thomas failed to see.

But everytime you hurt me the less that I cry. And everytime you leave me the quicker these tears dry.

James had been starving himself to be skinny for Thomas, he had been drinking a lot because of Thomas. At this point, James didn't seem to bother cleaning up the empty bottles in his apartment.

And every time you walk out the less I love you...

He just wanted the pain to end. He hated getting involved in these kinds of relationships. They always ended the same way. With James broken and the other still unsatisfied.

Baby, we don't stand a chance, It's sad but It's true...

James didn't want to end it with Thomas, he loved him. Or at least he thought. So many times James wanted to hurt himself, to cut or burn himself. He couldn't though, because Thomas would notice. At least soon though, it would be over.

I'm way too good at goodbyes...

I'm way too good at goodbyes...

No way that you'll see me cry.

I'm way too good at goodbyes.

Meanwhile Thomas on the other hand. Tried to be gentle and caring, he didn't want James to think that he was a monster.

I know you're thinking I'm heartless... I know you're thinking I'm cold.

At every chance he got, James would try to avoid sexual contact. He hated being used. He felt like a disgrace.

I'm just protecting my innocence, I'm just protecting my soul.

Tomorrow was the day. Their last day together as submissive and dominant. Like a fool he had told Thomas to be as rough as he wanted, to make their last day somewhat special.

I'm never gonna let you close to me, even though you mean the most to me. Cause every time I open up it hurts...

I'm never gonna get too close to you, even when I meant the most to you... In case you go and leave me in the dirt.

But everytime you hurt me the less that I cry. And everytime you leave me the quicker these tears dry, and everytime you walk out the less I love you. Baby, we don't stand a chance, It's sad but It's true, I'm way too good at goodbyes. I'm way too good at goodbyes.

The next day, James left Thomas' house broken, used, played with, hurt. Destroyed.

And Thomas had failed to notice every sign of James' decrease in mental health. It was so obvious, you would think that James was silently crying out for help. Help that would never come.

No way that you'll see me cry... I'm way too good at goodbyes...

And finally, James had enough. He wasn't gonna let himself become another submissive. But instead of finding help... He chose the easy way out. He chose the less painful way out. He chose to say goodbye.

Cause everytime you hurt me the less that I cry.

So there he stood, his bottle of medication in his hands. He opened that cap and stared at the tiny pills that lay there. Waiting to be overused.

And everytime you leave me the quicker these tears dry.

Waiting for James to lift them and place them in his mouth to overdose.

And every time you walk out...

His thoughts turned to Thomas. His last lover.

The less I love you...

He raised the pills to his lips, letting them rest in his mouth before swallowing them all.

Baby, we don't stand a chance, It's sad but It's true...

And he waited until finally.

Everything went black.

I'm way too good at goodbyes...

........................................................

I'm sorry... I think we're all crying now aren't we?