Hamilton OneShots

DOn'T lEt ThOMas TeaCH ThIS ClASs!

James Madison's POV

Oh Lord... Why do I have to be stuck in this class with Thomas??? SEXUAL EDUCATION!! Jesus Christ... Thomas is the MOST IMMATURE person in the world... And the teacher wanted some help with this class today...

Send help.

Please...

End my life...

"Alright class, today we are starting our sexual health unit for this year. Now, because I am a lazy ass shitty teacher, I am going to have the help of one or two students to help teach. I'm gonna pick a random student to help with today's topic, how sex works."

I groaned in annoyance at my 10th Grade teacher, Mr. Washington. For one, everyone here knew how sex works, and two, no student here is mature and/or qualified enough to teach us how sex works. We were sitting at our desks, watching as the teacher walked over to his bowl full of our names. He typically used this when he got tired of teaching, or when picking groups. We call it the "reaping bowl" after "The Hunger Games". He reached his hand in, it was a small bowl, consisting of only about 34 names... He pulled out a slip of paper. He reads it, his eyes widen in instant regret.

"Uhh... Thomas Jefferson... You'll be teaching this lesson... God save our souls..."

I looked to my right as I watched a smirk dance across Thomas' face. This class would definitely go down as either the funniest or cringiest day of our lives.

"Well Mr. Washington, I'd be honoured to teach this lesson." He said with a smirk as he stood up.

Washington had a look of horror plastered to his face. Hamilton looked at Thomas with the same look of horror. Lafayette was giggling like an idiot as he surely knew what this lesson would include. Peggy and Eliza's poor innocent souls had already left the moment Thomas' name was called. John Laurens was laughing and Aaron Burr had a look that read "It could be worse..."

Thomas walked over to Mr. Washington's desk and picked up the paper package that was the lesson plan. He read through it and chucked it behind him recklessly.

"Pffft, Who needs a plan? I can explain this perfectly" He drawled.

He walked over to the whiteboard and grabbed one of the markers, he took the cap off with a pop noise and stood in front of the class.

"Alright. So. Sex is not hard to explain. Heh, get it?"

The class tries to stifle laughter as Thomas continues.

"SO! Basically, for a guy. If you're straight, then a woman will typically be touching your dick to make you hard, HOWEVER! Since I am gay as FUCK and like men, I will be explaining this from a gay point of view. So, when two guys get together and they want to have the hot seccs™, one man will take the dominant role, and the other will take the submissive role. Both men are typically hard as fuck and horny so, assuming this is consensual sex, they will strip off their clothes and prepare themselves. The dominant typically uses his fingers or tongue or some kind of toy if you're kinky, to stretch the asshole of the submissive. He will then proceed to put his hard, stiff cock at his hole and push in. After that, they have rough and loud seccs so everyone can hear and then finally, they cum. So yeah, that's how sex works."

The class was already laughing at Thomas' comedic explanation of gay sex. However, I wasn't.

"You mean how you and James work?" Hercules calls out. Thomas growled and the class laughed more.

"Now, there are multiple positions this can be done." He continues.

Thomas smirks and stares right at me...

"James honey, come here and help me demonstrate sex positions."

I choke on my spit and stare at him flustered. I sank down in my chair and put my hood over my head.

"Yeah James! Why don' you demonstrate how you and Thomas have sex?!?" Alexander shouted loudly.

I felt a tug on my arm, I looked up to see a smirking Thomas. He pulled me up and walked me to the front of the class. I stood there nervously, tugging on the hem of my sweater uncomfortably. I looked at the class and saw every blush and smirk.

"So now. You can push them against the wall."

Thomas turned me and pushed me toward the wall so my back was facing him and the class. He got right up behind me. How was the teacher allowing this? I may never know...

"OH HELL YEAH THOMAS WHY DON'T YOU FUCK HIM IN FRONT OF THE CLASS?!?" John shouted.

Thomas retracted from me.

"If that's what you want to see." He smirks.

"OKAY Mr. Jefferson, that's enough... thank you for teaching that lesson... never again will I ask for your assistance, you may now take your seat... You too Mr. Madison..."

Thomas nodded and took a seat, I slowly walked back to mine, which happened to be right next to Thomas'. He sat down.

As Mr. Washington started teaching again, I felt a hand sneak its way onto my thigh...

God end me... this was supposed to just be a joke, but as long as you enjoyed it... I know it was absolute shit. But I am working on some really good requests that I have. So keep an eye out! Have a good day or night, bye guys! -Alex