lost by the world

14

Oh, god my hand, my hand is excruciating ,  every nerve in my hand is paining badly it is feeling like they will just blow out of my hand.

I eat my medicine as Christopher had explained me to take it. I eat and went to sleep.

I wake up with a  nightmare and now I don't feel like I'll get some sleep so all I can do is sit near window and observe the nature. It boring for someone to observe nature but not for me I enjoy watching it and looking for every detail in it.

Like when I go school by walking I observe the small roadside plants changing their colours. 1st the plant was having a whole white colour flowers then after some day it got some pink flowers and after one week the plant was having 3 different types of flowers in it.

I sat and put my both hand outside to enjoy the breeze, there was a street lamp which was having yellow light for pedestrians to walk carefully at night, the wind was blowing so nicely I  can  actually hear the voice of wind, I kept my face on the board which was just above my window, I kept my head down and realise the surrounding and I don't know when I slept.

*****************

I wake up and got ready for school, I was wearing Nirvana baggy hoodie with blue skinny jeans and a pair of  boots.

I was wearing hoodie for a specific reason, I don't want anyone to look at my wrist and ask what happened, Oh I forgot there is no one in school who will ask me,because no one observers me. how can someone observe shit. No one.

I went down and made breakfast and was about to leave when I remembered that mom is going hospital today, I went to her room and she was ready to go, "Good morning mom, I have made breakfast its on the table so eat it and I'll come tomorrow to see you in hospital because, dad don't allow me to be in hospital.  He say hospital vibes are bad so, I'll come, and take care don't cry, we are always there for you "I said and hugged mom.

" Same goes to you, don't cry in your bedsheets for me, enjoy your life and make sure you eat your medicine on time " she chuckle and  laugh while a tear rolled from her eyes.

" Mom please, don't make it hard for me " I said and tears appeared in my eyes but I control it anyhow.

" You are not the one who is going through this we all are going to this, we are always there for you, never lose your hope because dad loves you a lot, I have seen him, how he look at you" I said and a smile appeared on her face.

" Don't observe everyone's love story, try to make one, you get that! enjoy everyone's company in school and never let yourself down," she said.

I hugged her tightly, mom is going with dad but dad will be back till evening because he need to handle something in his shop, otherwise there   are workers who handle the shop nicely without creating any disturbance so, dad give mom company but  sometimes Aunt Zara and Aunt Leah give her company in hospital.

Aunt Leah is a pure heart kind person but her daughter she is just so sarcastic, I don't like her for being sarcastic every time, she can kill you with her sarcasm, no I'm not even exaggerating she can, So, I don't go near her but I like Aunt Leah.

I walk to school today because Emma was not coming school because she is having a bad headache.

I'm nervous, how Christopher will think about me. I went inside and saw Veronica talking to someone on phone, I went near her and put my locker number and started shifting my books, I was so busy in doing that, and when I turn toward her to see but there was no one, I think she didn't saw me so she left.

I went to my class and I'm having this class with Christopher and  Jackson.

I was looking down, I don't want to make eye contact with Christopher because I saw concern, care for me in his eyes and I don't want that. I don't want someone's pity.