Your Light (Tu Luz) [Joel Pimentel]

Chapter 16

Dhianna Gabriel

5 August 2013

Pain. Pain. Pain.

Screams. Screams. Screams.

Slaps. Slaps. Slaps.

Cries. Cries. Cries.

Dirty. Dirty. Dirty.

"Dhianna. What are you doing?" Chris's voice suddenly booms through my head and it woken me up from my thoughts.

I looked at him, unable to form a word. I looked back down on the bed.

Chris sighed. He edged himself closer to me.

"Dhia..." he started, "Please talk to me, baby girl."

Suddenly that certain word hit something inside me and rage surged through me.

"DON'T CALL ME THAT! GET OUT, CHRIS! GET OUT!" I screamed and kicked him out of my bed.

He looked at me once again through the half-closing door and ease it shut.

My life are ruined and I had no one left to take care of me. To soothe me. To tell me to be alright and it'll be alright.

Suddenly, it hit me at how much I miss my mum and dad. I quickly get up from my bed and walked towards my parents' bedroom.

As soon as I'm in, I quickly slammed myself on their bed for the first time since their death. It was always sacred to me not to sit on their bed as a respect for them but I could careless about it today.

My mum's favourite shampoo scent hit me and I was reliving back the moment when I was a little kid and I would look at my mum with my big brown eyes and ask her to pick me up so that I could smell her hair.

Next, I moved towards my dad's side and his cologne still clear on the bed like how he likes to slammed himself on bed and smeared those smell on the sheets.

It's like both of them are still here and hugging me, telling me that it's gonna be alright.

In daddy's tone it would be; I'll kill that man for you, kiddo. Where is he? How dare he would ever lay his hand on my precious gems.

In mummy's tone; Oh my baby girl, I'm so sorry. I love you, I love you.

And I half-smiled at thought. It had been too long since I last cried so hard at the thought of my parents and now I know the reasons why.

I've always trying to be positive and strong. Chris always tryna take me out of my shell and I tried to believe that that could happen. But the truth is that, I'm not even close of coming out of it. I'm not even close to strong.

Behind closed doors, I would cry and cry and cry but in the public, I would smile and laugh at every lame jokes.

The pain between my legs had subsided and it's just sore now but the redness from the slapping still pretty much are angry red.

I silently cursed that man. How could he do that to me? I'm weeping at the thought of me losing something I could never get back.

There's pretty much no reason to live anymore. No guy would even want me. I'm just a trash right now. A piece of shit.

"DHIANNA? DHIANNA!" I head Mariana and Chris screaming my name from outside.

"GOSH, WHERE IS SHE CHRIS?" She asked again, panic clear in her tone.

Suddenly, the door to my parent's bedroom was kicked, revealing Mariana and Chris' worried face.

When they saw me, their face softens and it was replaced with the sympathy look they always give me since that happened.

"Dhia..." Chris started, walking towards me along with Mariana.

When they were both besides me, I cried even more, they hugged me. Now, I'm sandwiched in between them.

"Oh, Dhianna." Mariana said.

Ever since that happened, Chris literally moved into my house along with Mariana. Maybe they wanted to make sure I was okay.

Maybe they wanted to soothe me when I scream at night. Or tryna drown myself in the bathroom.

They're both such a good friend and I don't deserve them.

When my cries was replaced by sobs, they bring me to my room and put me on bed and let me sleep. Once they ease the door shut, I get up from my bed again.

There's no way I should be living right now. Even if I fall for Joel, in no way he would want me right now. He's probably too disgusted by me.

I cringed at the thought.

So I did what I'm supposed to do, all this years since my parent's death. I got up from my bed to my bedroom and took a pill in my head.

The pill shine and it only added more to my curiousity.

Few swallows, and I'm dead.

I looked up on the mirror and saw a stranger looking back at me.

Her eyes are so swollen, her cheeks are angry red and there is not shine in her brown eyes. There's only one difference, both of them never looked uglier.

I fill the glass with water and put 6 pills on my palm. As soon I take a deep breath, and I  put the pills in my mouth, slowly.

"DHIANNA! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?"