Your Light (Tu Luz) [Joel Pimentel]

Chapter 17

"DHIANNA, WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" A voice screamed in panic, and I instantly know who.

"Gosh, Joel, shut the fuck up, please." I said as I put the pills inside my mouth.

Suddenly, I was being pulled in his embrace and the pills was knocked out of my hand and my mouth. I quickly tryna wiggle myself out of his embrace but he was just too strong.

I tried so hard, up until we were both sitting on the cold hard floor of the bathroom and me, still in his embrace.

"Dhianna, what is going on inside that beautiful head of yours?" Joel asked, as hugged me tighter.

I cried, unable to talk. Still pretty much reliving the moment when he saw me. When he found me.

"Get off me, Joel. Get off me." I said, trying to get out of his embrace but this only made him tighten his hug.

"Dhianna, stop. Stop all of this." He said, again, as he planted a kiss on my head that somehow soothes me.

When he noticed I was just sobbing, he loosen the hug and he turned me to face him.

He pulled face up, so that I was looking at him, but even that I couldn't make any eye contact.

"Dhianna, I'm here. Stop doing this." He said.

I looked up into his eyes, and I realized his gaze wasn't sympathy. It was something else. It was something I don't know.

"Joel..." I finally voice out, after a few moments of silence.

He looked deep into my eyes, "Yes, baby."

"It hurts so much..." I said, tears forming on my eyes. He hugged me again, but this time it was tighter than I could ever imagine.

"Everything will be alright..." He started, "..no one could hurt you anymore, Dhianna. I'll always be here."

I cried even more, never once in my life I ever felt like this.

Suddenly, anxiety kicks in and I, again, pull myself out of his embrace. He looked at me and I looked away.

"Go away, Joel. Go away. Don't ever see me again..." I said, the words taste bitter.

"...I don't need you to take care of me. I can take care of myself." I said.

He sighed and pull my chin up again, this time his eyes are full of determination.

"I'll never ever..." he started, "..walk away from you, anymore, Dhianna. I promise."

"Why are you doing this for me, Joel? You could just leave me all alone and I'll be fine." I asked him.

He furrowed his eyebrow, "..and let you do that again? I don't plan on leaving you any time soon. You're stuck with me."

The tears fall again, "..but I'm no longer me, Joel. You cannot just take up stray cats and take care of them. It'll eat you up."

He laughed, this time, it really calms the storm in my heart, "You're not a stray cat, Dhianna. You are still you, Dhianna. Trust me."

"But.." I started, "..I don't feel the same way."

The words tasted like bile but I need to push him away so that maybe, even just a little bit, it would push him away and never come back.

His face falls, but then after a while, he smiled, "..Someone could take care of someone without having feelings for each other, Dhianna. And that's what I'm trying to do."

I sighed, why is he so confusing and hard to push off.

"...you're getting yourself in so much trouble, Joel." I said.

He huffed, "Dhianna, do you think what you're doing right now is going to change my mind? Think again, I'm not backing up."

"Joel.." I started, "..I've lived my life, my whole life, ever since my parent's death all alone. I survived. Maybe I slacked one or two time. But I survived. I don't need you to take care of me."

He looked over me, taking a deep breath, "..You're being so difficult, Dhianna. Listen, whatever you're doing, it's not working. I'm still gonna be here. And always gonna be here."

With that, he pulled me up and take me to my bed. When I was in between the duvet, he sit next to me, and soothe my head.

"Sleep, Dhianna. You had a long day." He said.

"Joel..." I started, feeling defeated."..if you're planning on staying, will you promise me when I wake up, you'll still be here."

"I promise, baby." He said and with that I closed my eyes.

Suddenly, when I was 'bout to sleep, he sang. He sang beautifully. A song I swear I recognized but my head was full of things, that I suddenly don't.

He sing and sing and sing. One song to the next, and onto the next.

I soared into nowhere, and I realized maybe I am in love with him but god knows how much I wish I don't.

With that, easily, as how easy and beautiful the water cascaded from the waterfall, to the stream, I fall in love with Joel Pimentel.

...and I'm afraid I'm not gonna be able to back away from it anymore.