Your Light (Tu Luz) [Joel Pimentel]

Chapter 18

Dhianna Gabriel

6 August 2013

I woke up today to the sound of someone softly snoring, and when I flutter my eyes open, I saw Joel sleeping, on the left side of the bed, only head are visible on the bed, everything else was on the floor.

I, somehow, smiled. It warms my heart that he would never take an advantage of me, even when he had a chance.

The recollection of what happened yesterday played at the back of my head. Joel was so reassuring, so tender that it somehow calmed the storm and hurricanes in myself.

I looked at him, and take in all his features. I never get to see him up close but now that I get the chance, I'm not gonna miss it.

In the daylight, his brown eyes glimmered and shine, like he has no worry in his life. He always put on that smile, that could melt everyone's heart. When he laughed, you know it was sincere and genuine.

In the moonlight, he would glow up like the stars and somehow, I realized, I always find myself denying his surreality. It's like he could smile, and I, being myself, would try so hard to ignore the fact he had on me.

Suddenly, his eyes flutter open, and I looked away.

"Dhianna, you're up? What's wrong?" He said in a raspy voice, that does things to me.

"I'm hungry." I said, finally, after 3 days of denying food and swimming in my own misery and sorrow.

He smiled, satisfied, "Come on, let's get you breakfast."

I got up from my bed with him extending his hand to help me. As soon as I'm out of bed, we trudged down the stairs only to find restless looking Chris, sleeping on the couch and I feel bad.

I quickly walked towards him, and hugged him.

Chris, who was caught off guard, stayed like that for a few minutes. But after he realized it was me, he hugged me back.

"I love you, Chris. I love you." I said.

He kissed my forehead, "Never, push me away again, Dhia. I know you need me and I'll always be here for you no matter what."

A matter seconds after that, Mariana came in through the door and her face softens at the scene in front of her. I quickly got up to my feet and walked towards her to give her the tightest hug ever.

Although she thought I couldn't see, I know she smiled and mouthed a quick thank you to Joel who was standing looking fondly at us.

As soon as I let go of Mariana, she bring me to the dining table and we all eat in peace. Somehow I thought, this is what I have left. Mariana, Christopher and now, Joel.

I sent a quiet plea to god to never take this away from me anymore.

After about an hour after breakfast, Joel decided to go home and promised to come back in one hour. I nodded and only smile at him.

Now, here I am, sitting on my bed, looking at the ceiling, trying so hard to push the replay of what happened 2 days ago away.

Somehow, these past few days, I kept on asking myself what did I do to deserve all this?

Me and Austin was a thing 3 years back but after 2 years of being together, I started feeling distant from him.

He would look at me and kiss me, but there's no shine in his eyes. It's like he was forced to do that up until one day we had a fight and end it all at once.

Of course, I was broken but then, as time passes I realized it was for the best. In losing him, I found something. Myself and that's all that matters.

Austin and I hit the rough patch but I didn't expect he would act that way. I never could have believe whatever happened.

I could never.

Somehow, my head started throbbing and I closed my eyes, but unable to sleep. I was soaring in places I didn't know existed. I was searching for myself. Something I found and lost again when that animal hurt me.

I flutter my eyes open when I realized the dipping of the mattress and I saw Joel looking down on me. He smiled.

"What were you thinking about, Dhianna?" He asked.

I smiled at him, "Nothing. When did you arrived?"

"2 minutes ago.." he started, "...I thought you were sleeping."

Suddenly, he laid beside me and pull me in his embrace.

"Dhianna..." he said, "...tell me what's going on in that pretty head of yours."

"Life..."

He breathed, and I listened to his steady heartbeat. "Sometimes I wonder you know, if you never hit my car, what would you be doing right now?"

I chuckled, "...I would be playing games with Chris or Zabdiel. You?"

He intertwine our hands, and he looked at it. His hands warm on my cold one.

"..I honestly don't know. Maybe I'll hang out with Chris or Yoandri. Either way I would still be meeting you." He said.

I laughed, "...Because me and Chris are inseparable?"

He patted my head, "Smart girl. Whatever it is, I know god make us cross path so that we learn for something in life. I definitely learnt something on my encounter with you."

"What is it?"

"I learn.." he said, "Not to insult beautiful girls about their lack of driving skills."

I got up of his embrace, "True that. But, I learn not to bump into a smiling sweetheart."

His eyes hold amusement, "Why is that?"

"Because you'll fall without you realizing and might hurt yourself." I said.

He smiled, "...I love falling. Especially into your eyes."

I looked up then, into his serious gaze and without any warning, he leaned in closer and I closed my eyes.

Somehow, in the midst of our conversation, we found ourselves indirectly confessing our love and that when we kissed, all the things that use to matter to us, doesn't matter for a fraction of second.

When our lips meet, we feel a connection we never knew existed. When we share our breath, I realized maybe I love falling too.

Definitely love falling.

Definitely.