To Feel What I Feel

Means To Try

"Sarah, come out of your room!" mom screams for me. I close my door and move my bed in front of it. Then I clear out a corner of my closet and wrap my blankets around me before sitting behind the sliding door. I peek out one last time before pulling it closed. Knocking begins to tremble my door, but I ignore it. I place my headphones atop my head and switch my music on. The knocking gets so loud that I feel it in my chest, thumping through my heart. I turn up the music drowning out my thoughts and close my eyes. I don't hear the top of the door break away as my dad kicks it down. I don't hear the bed pushed back into place. I don't hear the sliding door open and my parents arguing. My computer is ripped from my lap, and I scream for him to stop. 

"Leave me alone!" I yell as my dad's eyes widen.

"What gives you the right to block your door?" dad asks. I burst into tears and tighten the blankets around my waist. Dad reaches down and pulls me to my feet. I back, farther, into the closet, but I can't get away fast enough.

"I'm trying to rest. I don't want to talk anymore. Let me rest." I plead, my voice cracking. 

"You're not allowed to block your door, do you hear me?" dad warns.

"And you need to answer me when I call you." mom snaps, walking into my room.

"Fine." I quip, looking down.

"Look at me." dad says, pushing me into my bed. I stuff my stuffed-animals under the covers.

"What is that?" mom asks.

"Just my toys." I admit.

"Let me see." She says, and I'm scared that she wants to toss them.

"They're just my toys, mom." I say again.

"Well, show your toys to your mother." dad says. I pull out two animals; a tiger, and small bunny.

"Hand them to me." mom orders as I shake my head.

"No, you're going to throw them away." I point.

"What I do with them isn't your concern. Now hand them over!" she says, raising her voice.

"Not if you're going to toss them. Say you won't?" I say.

"Sarah, don't make me ask again." 

"You don't get to throw out my things. Now say you won't, and I'll give them to you." I say, again.

"I won't toss them." she says, her eyes afire. I hand them over, and she rips their heads off. I faint onto my bed, and they leave.