To Feel What I Feel

Confused

"Fine, leave. Dear, you were never ours. Not ever. In fact, I don't recall the reason we had you."

"Stop." I hiss at his words. I shake my head, disappointed.

"No, you stop. Stop TRYING so hard. We don't care that greatly about you. Stop trying to prove yourself to us, we couldn't care less." dad exclaims.

"But I'm your daughter?" I point.

"Yes, unfortunately." dad sighs as mom sighs. 

...

"Hey, you're here with me, not them. Take this time to heal now." My sister, Nicole says.

"Ok? Do you mean that?" I ask, unsure. She nods, sincerely. "Thanks."

"I don't want you to have to worry. They can't come here. We're like three states away, you're safe."

"I hope so because I feel like they could pop out of anywhere?"

"Use this time to heal? Alright?" she asks slowly. I nod. "That feeling will go away with time."

...

I run to my room and slam my door. I hear my dad yelling, after me, but I tune him out. I jump into my bed and snuggle into the blankets. My brother opens my door without knocking, but I don't look up.

"Sis?" he says, worried.

"What?" I mutter into my pillow.

"Dad sounds upset. He's calling for you. You should go to him." Andrew says.

"No, screw him." I say, under my breath.

"What was that?" Andrew asks as I sit up. I jump backwards as I see my dad beside him. 

"Did you just curse me?" he asks.

"What you think?" I snap. Do I stand up for myself or lay low, in my own room?

"Watch your tone." dad rebukes.

"Why? It isn't going anywhere." I laugh. Dad makes his way deeper into the center of my room and rips the blankets from my bed. I gasp as my Teddy hits the floor. I swing my legs over the side and slip to the floor to retrieve it. Dad steps on his furry belly as my fingers close around a leg.

"Let go of him." I say, calmly.

"Stand up." dad orders.

"Let go.." I say, again. I don't dare look up.

"Stand up!" dad yells, jolting me. My head hits the wooden-frame to my bed as I pull away. I squeeze my eyes shut because of the pain. I relax my shoulders and breathe deeply. 

...

"Hello?" Nicole asks, again. I missed the first few times lost to a flashback. I blink my already-opened eyes. She touches my hand, noticing.

"Yeah. I'm here." I say, quickly.

"You ok? Looks like I lost you." Nicole says, quietly.

"Just a bad memory is all." I look down and squeeze her hand. "I'm ok."