To Feel What I Feel

Everything is Pointless

Life is pointless. As a Christian I'm supposed to share God's Word. Which means, I guess, that I need to be social? Or at least talk to people around me..I don't know. I just don't have the faith in people that I used to. I know that there are good people still out there, and that maybe someone could understand me. I just want everything to stop. I don't know what to say. I feel like I have to finish my stories, for the characters though. I have to discover something, but seriously how can I fix the world let alone anything when I can't even fix myself. I'm broken y'know? Even I was able to rewrite all the math/science systems in my own methods and it helped the next generation when I died, what's the point? So, someone is able to understand math? Big deal. It's not more important than someone's loved one dying, so should it even matter?

If living is such a chore than why should I want to live? I have to distract myself with writing, reading, and watching stuff. I mean ImaginationLand doesn't pay anyone for exploring it. Which I guess MAKES sense since it's still so unexplored. I mean-unless you write a book. I get that family is important, but people die. People already die, so. Even the people that want to live and hold onto life like it's long-lost-treasure are gonna end. Oh well, I'll go back to my distractions for some reason?