To Feel What I Feel

They Say

They say that being able to cry without shame is a strength. 
-I say that I can't control when I'm sad, and I hate attention.
They say that I should just let the past go?
-I say that I lost who I was in the past, and now I'm trying to refind myself.
They say that being depressed will make me go to Hell.
-I say then why is sorrow increased for girls? So I won't get depressed? 

They say that with God happiness is possible.
-I say that I don't want to be happy, I just want my family back. I'm more realistic now. I won't change again.
They say that I can be realistic and happy at the same time.
-I say I won't ever be happy without my family, and they're lost to me.
They say my family is alive and loves me.
-I say it didn't feel like love. It felt like tolerance. Like I was a pest waiting to be done away with.

They say it's all in my head.
-I say well, it must be in my sister's too because she understands me..